crushcrushcrush
by wotchertonks7
Summary: Marauder’s Era, fifth year. Remus has a crush on Severus and asks Sirius to play matchmaker. But when Sirius and Severus become partners in Potions class, Sirius develops a crush of his own.
1. A Change of Partners

Title: crushcrushcrush

Author: wotchertonks7

Rating: T – Romance/Drama

Pairings: Severus/Sirius, Severus/Remus

Summary: Marauder's Era, fifth year. Remus has a crush on Severus and asks Sirius to play matchmaker. But when Sirius and Severus become partners in Potions class, Sirius develops a crush of his own.

Warnings: Slash, mild language, werewolf attacks, adult content and situations

Disclaimer: All character created by JKR. I do not own them.

A/N: AU. In this version, Severus never got involved with the dark wizards in Slytherin. He remains best friends with Lily Evans. Although there was no worst memory incident, two certain Marauder did enjoy picking on Severus throughout the early years. I know that the Wolfsbane Potion was invented by Damocles Belby, but I'm going to let my boy Snape have that honor; you'll understand why in later chapters. Sorry, Sir Belby.

This is my first attempt at Snack. It is, and probably will be the sappiest thing I ever write. I hope.

Song title by Paramore.

xXx

Chapter 1: A Change of Partners

"Will you watch it, Moony!" exclaimed James. "You're spilling pumpkin juice all over my robes!"

"Sorry, mate!" Remus came out of his daydream, jerked the pitcher back too suddenly and received a face full of the orange liquid. The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws began to laugh and point at the spectacle.

Remus did his best to tidy up while continuing to steal glances over at the Slytherin table. More specifically at the dark haired boy with a prominent nose, who was at the moment busy reading a book over a platter of toast and poached eggs. Remus grinned sheepishly and sighed. The jug began to tip over again. James and Sirius snickered and each dug an elbow into Remus' sides while Peter continued to stuff his face.

"You're a bloody train wreck!" Sirius laughed through a mouthful of bangers and mash.

"Sorry about that, but Severus looked this way and I got all flustered. Do you think he saw that?"

"Don't see how since he never takes his over-large nose out of his book. His housemates are all pissing themselves, though. I can't believe you let yourself get all silly over that grotty git. If you must crush over a Slytherin, why Snivellus? At least Lestange is good-looking."

"Severus is not that bad. Besides, Lestrange has the brains of a dustbin. And Severus… well, he's a bloody genius!" Remus sighed again. "The most brilliant student in Hogwarts. And everyone knows that smart is sexy."

"Uh, yeah," said James, sarcastically. "And Snape likes to let everyone know just how 'brilliant' he is. Honestly, how anyone can stand to be in the same room with him, I'll never understand."

"He's just one of those silent, brooding genius types. I find him very attractive. Besides, Lily is friends with him and she's no fool."

"Mental." Sirius shook his head. "Evans, too. So, why don't you finally go over and chat him up? Maybe he needs a wolf-skin rug."

"I can't just go and talk to him!" Remus looked aghast. "I'll get all nervous and make a fool of myself, again. Wait a tick…. You! You could do it for me!"

"Are you mental?" Sirius said.

"No, I mean it. You could ask him to tutor you in Potions."

"You _are_ mental. Why the bloody hell would I do that?"

"Because you're failing. And McGonagall is about to chuck you off the Quidditch team if your grades slip any lower this semester."

Sirius frowned. "You're rubbish at Potions, too! Get him to tutor _you_."

"I'd be too jumpy. Please, Padfoot! You could talk to him and start to work me into the conversation. You know, how smart and funny I am."

"S'cuse me, but when did you become either of those things? Besides, you like a_ Slytherin_. And not just any Slytherin. A great stone-faced pillock. Never says two words together less he's showing off in class. I believe that you're judgment has become impaired, Moony"

"Oh, please, Paddy. Please!"

Sirius scowled. "Damn you and your big puppy dog eyes! No good will come of this, make no mistake."

xXx

Double Potions with the Slytherins. Sirius strutted into the dungeon classroom and located his quarry immediately. Snape and Lily Evans always took the desk right in front of Professor Slughorn's desk. So much easier for answering questions and showing off their considerable prowess. Insufferable know-it-alls, the pair of them. Two bowtruckles in a tree, Sirius decided. Lily's saving grace was that she was a fellow Gryffindor. That and she was uncommonly pretty which helped make up for her unflattering brilliance. Snape on the other hand had no appeal to recommend him. He was simply a greasy, snarky git who provided the Marauders with an endless source of amusement, as a target.

Lily had yet to arrive. Snape was already prepared with his usual vials and ingredients. While other students were laughing or chatting away, he was bent low over a book, writing notes that were so miniscule they were impossible for anyone else to make out.

Sirius regarded him for a moment. Merlin, but when Sirius thought of all the Slytherins who were at least half way decent looking. Some more than others. He recalled the old prefect Lucius Malfoy and his shock of corn silk hair that used to make Sirius' nether region tingle. Snape would never be what one considered handsome, but it did not matter. It was his eyes that grabbed you. Two endless pools of inky black that seemed to seize hold of you as fierce as any Summoning charm, and once they had you it was impossible not to look away first. Sirius often felt that Snape had the ability to just reach out into his mind and pluck out thoughts, like a fox catching tiny fish from a pond. It was unnerving.

And yet, for some unexplainable reason Remus fancied the git. But then again, Remus sprouted fur and a tail three nights a month, so freaks couldn't exactly be choosey, could they?

He strutted over and dropped his bag on the table right in front of the Slytherin. "Alright, Snape? Had a good Christmas? Good to be back at Hogwarts, eh?" He flashed his famous golden smile, the one that never failed to get him whatever he wanted.

Not that Snape noticed. Black's presence did not stop his scribbling in the least. "What do you want, Black?"

"Well, um, this is kind of embarrassing. See, I'm not too keen at Potions—"

"Fancy that," he mocked

Snape lifted his ebony eyes and stared fiercely at the other boy. His shoulder length black hair was untidy and hung in greasy strands around his pale face. He was no beauty, that was true, and yet there was an undeniable sense of calculated intelligence to the Slytherin. Sirius was sure that if he was very quiet he could hear the wheels of Snape's mind turning in precision, working out whatever he, Sirius, was planning.

Sirius decided to ignore the comment and not hex the git into the floor. "Right. So, I was wondering if you would maybe… you know, tutor me."

"Not interested." Snape returned to his book.

"I'd pay you. A galleon per lesson."

"Not interested."

"Alright, three. Merlin knows you look like you could use the gold. Buy yourself a robe that's not been patched-up. Maybe a bottle of shampoo…."

"Sounds like you should hold onto that gold. Get yourself some lessons in manners."

"Look." Sirius didn't care if Remus was his best friend, his patience could only run so thin. "I already admitted that I need help. Why do you have to be a prat about it?"

"Anything that points out your shortcomings and annoys you at the same time is the highest form of entertainment for me." Snape grinned at him and it was all Sirius could do not to punch the smarmy bastard right in the conk. "What do you really want, Black?"

"I told you, I need—"

"Someone like you would rather take a steel bludger to the knackers before admitting to someone like me that you needed help. There are plenty of Gryffindors who are sufficient at Potions. Lily, for example, is top marks, and a shade fairer on the eyes than myself, I daresay. And yet you turn to someone you obviously hate. Why is that? Could it be that you and your Marauder pals are plotting to do something to me? If that's the case you need to work on your subtly. Now go away."

He has a mind like an Ever-sharp blade, Sirius grudgingly had to admit to himself. "I'm not trying to trick you. Honest. Well, not this time, at any rate." Sirius looked over at Remus and James for support. Remus was setting up their ingredients while James put their cauldron over a low flame.

And then Sirius had it. "It's just that I need to pass this class or I'm off the Quidditch team, you see. Like I said, I'm pits when it comes to Potions, and my mate Remus is always going on about how you're the most _brilliant_ student in Hogwarts." An eyebrow quirked and Sirius knew that he had chipped a bit off the iceberg. "You know Remus Lupin. Gryffindor prefect. Nice bloke. Great at Defense Against the Dark Arts."

Snape followed Sirius' gesture towards the desk in the last row, which caused Remus to knock his rucksack into his cauldron and set it on fire. The thin boy yelped and tried to perform an Augamenti spell, but only ended up conjuring more parchment that also went up in seconds.

"Is he accident prone or just a bloody lunatic?" Snape shook his head as he watched James and Remus beat on the flames with their robes.

Sirius hid his face in his hands. This was going to be harder than he thought.

"Ah, Messers Black and Snape. Well, well, well." Professor Slughorn waddled into the classroom, his bulging stomach a couple of inches ahead of him. "Isn't this a surprise? The heir to the Black family estate and one of my brightest pupils partnering up for my next big assignment."

Snape's jaw hit the ground. "What? No, Professor, we were not—"

Slughorn prattled on as if he had not heard. "A Gryffindor and a Slytherin working side by side. Excellent. Excellent. The Headmaster would approve. Inter-house cooperation, and all that, you know."

"Professor, may I remind you that Lily has always my partner." He pointed to the pretty redhead who had just entered the room. "And she's in Gryffindor as well. So, there's no need for me to change partners."

Lily approached the table and gave Sirius a curious look as to why he was in her seat. "You lost, Black? Best slink back to your mates before they send out a rescue party."

Sirius decided that he would have to be bolder. "Professor Slughorn, forgive me but this is hardly fair."

"My boy?" said the pot-bellied man. "What's not fair?"

"This arrangement. It's bollocks, is what is really is! Pardon my language, sir," Sirius said quickly. "Pairing up the two best Potion brewers in class is all very well for them. They make it look easy because they know they're sure to get solid O's. Am I right? Meanwhile the rest of us are left to struggle to keep up and that is bollocks! Sorry, sir. Wouldn't it be more prudent to even out the playing field? That way someone else will maybe learn something in this sodding class. No offense, sir. It's only fair is what I'm saying, Professor."

"An admirable thought," Slughorn said as he stroked his walrus moustache, ignoring all the rest. After all, heirs to considerable fortunes did not curse in front of their professors. They grew moody and belligerent on occasion, but things like that were best to be forgotten. "Admirable indeed. Yes, it does make sense to join my star pupils with less, ah, acclimated students. Yes, yes. Quite right. Mr. Snape, you will be partnered with Mr. Black."

Lily gaped at her friend. "What did I miss? Since when does Black want to work with you, Sev?"

"No idea," Snape answered and shot Sirius a nasty look. "He's having a laugh, or something."

"And Ms. Evans," said Slughorn. "Why don't you go and help out Mr. Potter back there? Merlin's beard! It looks like he's trying to set fire to the classroom. Again." He smiled and flopped his huge behind down in his chair.

"What about our project?" She looked from Slughorn to Snape with pleading eyes. "We've researched this all during holiday only now to let it go to seed?"

Snape patted her arm and handed her his notebook. "You take this one, Lily."

"Sev, no! This was your creation. You thought it up. You did the preparations."

"I only thought of it because you first gave me the idea. And you did all the research wth me." He closed her fingers tighter around the book. "It's as much yours as mine. You take it. You can handle this."

"Says you." She curled her lip and sent Sirius a scathing look. "You just have to tolerate Big Mouth. I have to deal with Big Head!"

He gave her a very sympathetic look. "You're right. That is worse. Good news is if something were to explode in his face, no one would blame you."

Lily smirked and then groaned as she made her way to the back of the room. James was positively beaming, like he had just won the House Cup for the next three years at once.

Snape raised his hand to get Slughorn's attention. "Sir, I absolutely refuse to work with this… person."

"I can't tell you how I'm looking forward to this new potion you've been working on, Mr. Snape." Slughorn said as if he hadn't been listening at all. "And with Mr. Black's formidable knowledge—"

Snape make a loud "tuh" noise.

"If your potion is as impressive as I believe it will be, then you boys will be the highlight of my Easter soiree. Alalbert Waffling shall be attending, did you know?"

Snape's eyes went wide. "The famous magical theoretician? The author of _Magical Theory_?"

"The very same, my boy. The very same. Everyone's always dead chuffed to discover that he and I are old chess partners. And, if you two impress him, well… there's no limit to the ladders you may climb in this world, now is there? So best press on. Time is galleons, lads. Remember that."

Snape fumed. Sirius gloated. "So, I guess we're partners. What's our project?"

"_Our_ project, Lily's and mine, I mean," Snape said coldly, "was one that we were working by ourselves for weeks. Now I'm going to have to come up with an entirely new potion good enough to present to Slughorn. An ape like you would only get in the way and ruin everything, and you are not going to ruin my chance to meet Sir Waffling!"

"Relax. I won't cockblock your pervy old man date."

Snape rubbed the bridge of his nose. "You're such an idiot. Fine, but don't act like yourself and _try_ to use your brains for once! It's those things all that poofy hair of yours keeps warm."

"Very amusing." Sirius unpacked his books. "So anyway, Remus Lupin is a great bloke, don't you think? Real smooth guy."

"He is so odd."

"Exactly!" said Sirius cheerfully. "He's odd, you're odd. A couple of oddballs in one class. What are the odds of that, eh?"

Snape glared at him. "You're a real git, Black!"

Sirius blinked. "What? What did I say?"

"You just insulted me."

"No I didn't. It's no secret that you're odd. Always sulking around like a vampire, and you don't seem to have any friends, other than Evans."

"Tactless! Leave room in your mouth for that other foot, won't you? In case you get peckish."

"Alright, alright." Sirius held up his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry, okay? You're not an oddball. You're a silent, brooding genius type."

"Enough with the insults already, Black. I know I'm an oddball, okay? I don't need the popular rich boy rubbing it in my face because he wants a laugh! Now shut it so I can decide which potion to work on." He waved Sirius away as he flipped through reams of old notes. From the look of it, the Slytherin had been inventing quite a bit in his spare time.

Sirius did not know what he was doing wrong. If he had used half this amount of charm on anyone else in class they'd have been practically sitting in his lap by now. Yet Snape wasn't responding and that irritated him to no end. He glanced back at Remus, hoping for some sort of assistance.

"Hey, Snape," Sirius nudged the other boy. "Think a delicate genius like you could come up with a potion for, you know, werewolves?"

"What sort of potion would the beasts require? Something to remove the blood stains from their teeth after they've ripped a child to pieces?" he said, sarcastically.

Sirius blanched. "No, and that's not funny. But you do have a fair point there. Don't you think that _maybe_ they'd appreciate it if someone would invent a cure for their _hairy_ problem?"

"A cure for lycanthropy? What are you going on about, Black? Even if I wanted to do such a thing, where do you propose that I find my research? There aren't a lot of books on the medical aspect of the condition. And how could I run any tests anyway? Unless you happen to have a pet werewolf at home."

No, he's at the back table, you git, Sirius wanted to say. "What… what would you say if I told you that I could get you samples from a real live werewolf? Whatever you needed for your experiments."

"You're taking the mickey? Where would you find—"

"Uh, my family has connections to certain… people, you know." Sirius lied. "I can't reveal the identity of the afflicted person, but I'm certain that he would be grateful. And who knows? My mum's on good terms with the Board of Directors at St. Mungo's. Could mean an Order of Merlin––"

"What would the point of all this be? Nobody cares about such matters."

"Nobody but the people afflicted by it!" Sirius nearly shouted but managed to reign in his anger, less James or Remus overheard. "Honestly, have you ever read about werewolves? About how much pain they endure from the transformation every month? How they tend to become ill and weak as the full moon approaches until they're practically bed-stricken? And how about when the change happens and they forget everything, even who they are, until only a mindless killing machine remains? Is that fair that they go through life that way? Or that their families have to go through it with them? So don't bloody well sit there and act like nobody cares!"

For the first time that day, Snape was staring fully into Sirius' face. "You are being sincere for once, aren't you?"

Sirius nodded. Snape reverted to his scowling expression. "I didn't think you were capable of having meaningful thoughts, Black. Can't understand why a selfish, straw-head like you would care, but I'll not argue. Well, even I must admit that it's a challenge, and I do enjoy a proper challenge. Very well. We'll begin by meeting at the library at least twice a week, or whenever I say so."

"Wait, what?"

"To research everything we can about lycanthropy, of course. You know, big quite place, full of books. Most people do their homework there."

"I know what a library is! But why do we have to meet so often? I have Quidditch practice, and besides, you're the one who is actually into this stuff."

Snape fixed him with his ice-cold glare. "A minute ago you were offering to pay me to teach you potions. Are you giving up your ruse already? Doesn't matter. We are stuck together now so you _will_ do your share of the assignment. No more cheating off of your mates or pushing around the family name."

Sirius was about to say something but Snape cut him off. "Just shut up and pay attention because if you mess this up for me, I swear I'll use the Bat Bogey Hex on you! I'm extraordinarily proficient at it, too. And I shall be accepting that galleon a lesson."

Sirius shrugged. Remus had better appreciate all this.

xXx

A/N: In case anyone noticed, Sirius was channeling Seth's Home Ec rant from "Super Bad" in Potions class. Severus is channeling a bit of Dr. House; his intelligence and bad-ass attitude that goes with it. All my rough slang is from a glossary of British sayings so I hope that I'm using them correctly. I only recently became a Severus/Sirius fan, thanks mainly to Huldra's "Sanity and Insanity."


	2. Private Lessons

Chapter 2: Private Lessons

It was no surprise that Snape had chosen one of the most difficult and complicated potions Sirius had ever seen. They had to meet every few afternoons to prepare ingredients or mix test samples and record their results. Sirius had to admit that Snape made a decent teacher. A bit overbearing at times and completely obsessed with detail. However, the boy could be almost pleasant when he wasn't acting like a snarky bastard. Against his will, Sirius found him impressive.

The evening of the next lesson came, and Sirius strolled into the library leaving muddy footprints in his wake. Snape was not pleased to see him.

"Where the bloody hell have you been?" Snape barked, as loud as he could without shouting. "You were supposed to be here an hour ago!"

"Quidditch practice ran late. No big deal."

"Quidditch practice? We have more important things to do and you're playing stupid games? Honestly! I didn't think it was possible to see a brick de-evolve any further!"

"Hang on. Quidditch is _not_ stupid!"

"Obviously my partner is! Now sit down and stop wasting my time."

"How can you get so enthusiastic about any of this?" Sirius leafed through an encyclopedia of anti-venoms. "It's so frightfully dull. I just can't get my mind around it."

"That's because you're a lunk, good for carrying large objects and cracking walnuts with that exceedingly thick cranium of yours." Snape pointed at the chart he had written up and tried to explain it again for the hundredth time. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Why don't you think of the potion as a Quidditch game? It has aggregates and catalysts that interact and cause a chemical reaction due to the increase or decrease in energy of the substances involved. You need all the team members performing at their best to make the goal."

Sirius thought about this and it actually made sense. He could see a green field in his mind and all the red and gold colored players on broomsticks racing around, tossing the quaffle back and forth, gaining speed, cleverly feigning a fumble to slip past a chaser in green until––"

"SCOOOOOOORRREE! Another ten points for Gryffindor!"

The entire room was hissing at him. Sirius hadn't noticed that he was on his feet, arms raised in a V over his head. Madame Pinch, the batty old librarian shushed him with a threatening scowl. Snape hid his face behind a book.

"I guess you think I must be an idiot." Sirius quickly found his seat.

"Actually, Black, I believe you to be rather intelligent."

Sirius blinked. "You're having a laugh."

"Even I have to admit it. I've seen the marks you get in Transfiguration. And you Marauders are always sneaking around this school but never seem to get caught. Since nobody is that lucky you must have some sort of sensory device to help you maneuver without detection. That kind of planning deserves some respect, even if I don't approve of the behavior."

Sirius' jaw dropped.

"Unfortunately, then you speak and I am forced back to my original theory that you are merely a simpleton with a secret stash of Felix Felicis."

And Snape's decency had gone as soon as quickly as it had come. Sirius felt the mental slap across the face and wondered how he had let himself be suckered into that so easily. "So, Remus and I were talking this morning," he said while leafing through _A Guide Book To Unusual Potions_. "Did I mention what a great guy Remus is?"

"On more than one occasion now," Snape said in a bored drawl. "Why do you insist on talking about him all the time? Is he your boyfriend?"

Sirius dropped the book with a loud "thwack!" and received a second reprimand from the librarian. "He… what? No, no, no! Not my… I'm not…. He's single. Very single, if you get me."

"Not really."

Sirius tried to go back to his reading but found that he could not. "And why would you that think he's my _boyfriend_?"

Snape didn't bother looking up but Sirius could see the hint of a smirk on the Slytherin's face. "Aren't you the _girl_?"

"WHAT!" The librarian hissed her final warning in his direction. "Why would you… and even if I was, which I'm not, _if_ Remus and I _were_… why would you assume that _I'm_ the girl?"

"Because you spend more time fixing your hair in the mirror than any girl I know," Snape commented.

"I'm just trying to get my front curl to flip the right way, otherwise it hangs lifeless." Sirius stopped. "This isn't helping me, is it?"

Snape rested his chin on his palm and regarded the Gryffindor with a rare smile before returning to his paper. Sirius noticed the change it produced on the Slytherin's face and he felt strangely warm.

"Well, what about your hair, then?"

"What are you prattling on about now?" Snape asked.

"Your hair. It's always so lank and greasy and without any sort of body or luster."

Snape rolled his eyes. "Are you sure you're not a girl? Blokes don't say things like 'body' and 'luster' about their hair."

"Regardless, those of us who are a bit concerned with our appearance use something called shampoo. Ever heard of it? And you're supposed to be so brilliant with potions. Can't you come up with something to get the grease out? People think––"

"I don't give a damn what people think about me. Only vain fools think that looks are everything, while knowledge is shunted to the side like a plague."

Sirius regarded him in silence for a very long time, and then shrugged. "It just seems to me that someone so obviously brilliant with potions could easily whip up something to help. That is unless you were only exaggerating." He flashed his golden smile.

Snape shot him a murderous look. "I have more important things to work on than something as asinine as my façade. I'll leave that to silly, brainless, pretty-boy peacocks, like yourself."

Sirius was about to retaliate when the comment fully struck him. A broad smile spread across his face until Snape was forced to take notice.

"What?" said the Slytherin, now positively spitting acid.

"So, you think I'm pretty, hun?" Sirius practically sang out loud.

Next thing he knew, Sirius was being chased out of the library by a serious case of Bat-Bogeys.

xXx

Two days later and Sirius still sported the round, yellow-green bruises, courtesy of the Bat Bogey Hex. Not to mention the amount of ribbing he was getting for them from his Housemates. Normally, he would have admired such a finely crafted, persistent spell if it had been aimed at anyone other than himself, and if the caster had been anyone other than Snivellus.

The spell was so good it should have been a Marauder prank, he thought. Sirius was done with lessons for the afternoon and longed to get onto the Quidditch field to work off some pent-up aggression. Peter hustled to match Sirius' pace.

"And it's not like you couldn't have blocked the spell," Peter said in between pants. His chubby face was pink with exertion. "He just caught you off guard, that's all. And you can barely see the marks now, really. You'll get him back, won't you, eh, Padfoot? Eh? I mean, just because he cast one particularly nasty curse doesn't mean that he can make a fool of you. And in front of the entire school, too. Not that anyone thinks you're stupid, mind. Well… could happen to anyone, couldn't it? And those Slytherins just can't be trusted. No sir, not at––"

"Wormtail!" Sirius growled warningly. "Will you give it a rest for a while?"

"Sorry, Pad," Peter gulped. "I just thought I'd get your mind off of it."

"That'll be difficult what with you prattling on."

"You just seem upset is all."

"I'm not upset! The prat got lucky for once. Won't happen again. Next time I see his ugly, greasy face I'll––" Sirius was halfway through explaining what he was planning to do to Snape when the said Slytherin passed right by him in the hallway.

Sirius barely recognized the other boy. Snape was quiet as the grave as usual, but his hair, his hair was straight and shiny and fell around his face in dark, silk curtains.

"S-Snape?" Sirius gasped.

"Black." Snape turned his head just enough to regard the other boy.

"What… ah, what happened to you? You look…." The word "nice" died on his lips. That was crazy talk. Snape did not look nice. He never looked nice.

Until now.

"I look what, Black?" said Snape.

"You, ah, you washed your hair."

"I always wash my hair, dolt! However, in spite of the useless drivel that constantly spews from your mouth, I decided to take you up on your little challenge."

"My…what?"

Snape held up his nose and sniffed in annoyance. "You said that if I was truly brilliant at potions then I could create something to aid my condition. Well, I succeeded." His pale skin took on a slight pinkish tinge. "Not that I care what people say about me nor about my appearance. I only did it to prove to you that I could. Understand?"

Sirius wasn't listening. He wasn't sure what prompted him to do it, but before he knew what he had done one hand reached out and brushed the soft strands between his fingers.

Snape jumped back. Sirius did too. The Slytherin's eyes were wide with shock.

"I… I have a class," Snape muttered.

"Yeah, so do I," Sirius said, forgetting that it was not true. "Well, then. Right."

"Black."

Sirius spun around at the sound of his name.

"You might try some essence of Murtlap for the swelling on your face, before you are confused for a grindylow," Snape said quickly and hurried down the hall until he was lost in the crowd.

Still dazed as to what had just happened Sirius collided with Peter. "Oof. Sorry, mate. Well, let's get down to the green, shall we?" He kept his eyes forward, not wanting to look at his friend right then.

"What exactly was that, Padfoot?" Peter said timidly.

"Hmm? What?"

"That. You touched Snape."

"I did not, and shut up."

"But you touched his hair."

"I said shut it!" He started to walk faster until Peter was practically running to keep up.


	3. Secret Admirers

Chapter 3: Secret Admirers

"A bag of Jelly Slugs and some Licorice Wands, please." Peter tossed a few knuts on the countertop, grabbed the parcel in his stumpy fingers and bit the head off of a Slug.

"Take it easy, mate," James said as he reached into a giant glass jar of jumping Peppermint Toads. "You'll bust a gut and we'll have to pay to have the place cleaned up."

The other Marauders chuckled, enjoying their Hogsmeade weekend with a quick stop at Honeydukes Sweetshop.

"Geroffit, Games," said Peter around a mouthful of candy.

"Revolting," Sirius snorted. "Anyone fancy some treacle fudge? Remus? Wanna share a bar of nougat, mate?"

"Can't," said Remus as he carefully searched the display cases. "I want to get Severus a gift. Something from a secret admirer so he knows that someone is thinking of him. Ever since he used that potion on his hair he's been getting real popular. Have you noticed?"

Sirius didn't want to admit it but he had noticed. A clean, presentable Snape made quite a difference. He could no longer scare people away with a mere scowl. In fact, several boys, and girls, now seemed to find Snape's snarkiness rather appealing.

"Not that he doesn't look amazing." Remus sighed. "He's gorgeous! Only now everyone else thinks so, too. I'm just worried that if I don't act soon someone else is sure to ask him out first. But what should I get him?"

"How about a Blood Pop? He is a vampire, after all," James snorted and stole a Licorice Wand from Peter. "Or you might try some Cockroach Cluster, but would that be considered cannibalism?"

"That's not funny, James," said Remus. "I want it to be something he'll really like, too. Maybe some Lemon Drops? Or Sugar Quills. That could be saying he's a good student, right?"

"He doesn't like overly sweet stuff." Sirius suddenly felt something twist in the pit of his stomach, but wasn't at all sure why. Too many Ginger Snaps, he decided. "Well, he wouldn't, being Snape and all. He likes blackberries. I mean, I think he said so one time or another." He quickly ducked behind a flowing chocolate fountain so they wouldn't notice the flush over his face.

"That's perfect!" Remus exclaimed. "I'll get him a basket and you can give it to him at your study session this evening. But remember, it never came from me."

xXx

Sirius groaned to himself and dropped an overly decorated basket in front of Severus at their usual table in the library. Several onlookers were laughing at the exhibit. Why couldn't Remus have gone with a simple brown box instead of this pink eyesore?

Snape seemed to think along the same lines, turning up his nose at all the sparkly ribbons and heart-covered tissue paper. "What is _that_ supposed to be?"

"A gift," said Sirius, resentfully. "From your secret admirer."

"Very funny, Black." Snape pushed the basket back toward the other boy. "What's in it? Dungbombs?"

"Blackberries. You like them, right?"

Snape's face soured with disbelief. "I like them alright, but not when they're laced with something. What is it? Bulbadox Powder? A Swelling Solution? Maybe a charm to turn me into a vole or something?"

"No, but good ideas, all of them. I'll have to write them down. But these really are from a secret admirer." He pushed the basket back towards Snape.

Snape was not convinced and acted as if it concealed an angry serpent.

"Oh, don't be such a suspicious berk!" Sirius unwrapped the paper and tossed a berry into his mouth. "See? Yummy." He stuck out his tongue to show off its contents.

"Charming," Snape said. "How do I know that you didn't take the antidote before hand?"

Sirius snorted. "Oy! Evans! Witch of the Year! This way!" He called across the room.

Lily joined them at their table looking mutinous. "Are you trying to get us all thrown out of here, Black?"

"Wouldn't dream of it. Care for a sweet?"

"Are you mad? Don't let Madame Pinch see you with food in her precious library! And what's with the basket? Looks like Madame Puddifoot's threw up all over it!"

"It's for Snape, from someone who is thinking of him but wishes to remain anonymous."

Lily's eyes went wide as she dropped into a seat next to them. "What's that? Ooooh! Sev, you didn't tell me."

"This is the first I'm hearing about it," Snape said.

"Anyway, Evans, try one." Sirius extended the parcel. "Prove to the lucky boy that they're not poisoned."

"So help me, Black. If those things harm her in any way—"

"Never mind." Lily took a handful and bit into them. "These are good. Somebody knows your weakness, Sev. Well, who is it then?"

"Couldn't say," Sirius cajoled.

"You know," Lily said to Snape, "I'll bet it's Kevin Cresswell from Ravenclaw. He's been trying to pick your brains since you both joined the debate team. Maybe he's after more than your brains, eh?"

"Give over, Lily!" Snape tried to focus on his books.

"Or how about that tall, good-looking boy in Hufflepuff? Terry Tiberius. He's always making eyes at you. Wait, I know who it is. Why didn't I think of it before? He gets jumpy every time you're around."

Sirius held his breath. Soon it would all be over and he would be free of this nonsense.

"Dunstran Diggory."

This name had a definite affect upon Snape. He coughed to disguise the slight pinkish tinge to his cheeks.

Sirius chewed his tongue until he tasted iron. Diggory was a sixth year, and the seeker of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, and popular and he was extremely good looking. Normally Sirius knew Snape would hate these qualities, but Diggory was also brilliant. Winner of last year's Wizard's Thinking Cap award and captain of the chess team, and Severus respected those with great intelligence. Sirius suddenly hated everything about Cresswell and Tiberius, and especially Diggory.

"It's not any of them!" he nearly shouted. "It's someone… nice." Both Snape and Lily stared at him and he wished that he had kept his mouth shut.

"This is ridiculous." Snape thrust the basket into Sirius' hands. "I don't get admirers! This is another of your little pranks, isn't it, Black? Well, you can take that sickening thing and shove it up your—"

"Are you so down on yourself that you can't believe that someone fancies you?" Sirius hissed. "You're not half-bad when you actually take care of yourself. And you can be pleasant to be around when you're not afraid that someone will discover that there's a human being under that golem exterior."

Snape did not respond to this. All the color seemed to drain out of his face, which was already rather pale. Eventually he shrugged and muttered, "Ridiculous. Can we get back to studying, please?"

xXx

A/N: I made up the names from random students mentioned in the Harry Potter Lexicon. That sight has been indispensable to me! I invented a brother for Amos Diggory, Dunstran, first because I always liked the name, and second because the actor who played Amos did NOT look like he could have fathered a son that fine. So, I gave Cedric a handsome uncle to explain where the looks in the family came from. Interpret that any way you like.


	4. Troubled Dreams

Chapter 4: Troubled Dreams

xXx

Severus held the vial up to his face for closer inspection. His long, pale, almost delicate, fingers moved up and down the glassy surface, trying to coax a reaction. Milky white liquid dripped down his hands and wrists. A pink tongue licked his lips in concentration. Suddenly Sirius was breathing hard and pooling sweat. The sight was so unexplainably erotic that he thought his chest might explode.

Severus glanced his way, gave him that "yeah, what are you going to do about it" grin, and the animal inside Sirius broke free. In one swift motion Sirius had Severus thrown on top of their desk and was kissing him ferociously. He didn't care if the whole class saw them shagging. All he could think was that the Hogwarts uniforms were far too thick, and why did they have so many buttons? When Severus' slim legs wrapped around his waist he tore at the fabric and attacked the long line of neck. A moan and grinding hips beneath him drove Sirius wild. He began to attack in full, licking and kissing and touching places he dared not go before.

All around him he could hear strange noises, almost like cheering.

"He's amazing!" It sounded a lot like Peter. "Look at that move!"

"Fifty points to Gryffindor. For a most impressive technique."

"Go, Paddy! Go for it! Go go go! Moonstone!"

"I said go get the moonstone!"

Sirius blinked. Was_ moonstone_ a term of endearment?

"Idiot!" Severus shouted. "The cauldron is boiling over! Honestly, I ask you to stir it for one moment and look! Two hours work about to be wasted! Wake up, dung for brains!"

Sirius shook off the last of the daydream. Or rather nightmare, for that could be the only explanation as to why he had just had a deranged, and very arousing, wet dream about Snivillus! In the middle of Potions class, too! He didn't even like the boy half the time. It didn't make sense.

Unless….

What had Professor Slughorn said about love potions? Sirius couldn't tell the difference between Amortentia and pumpkin juice. Suppose that's what the Slytherin was really brewing and he, Sirius, had been left to get a whiff full. What if Severus had been doing that all along? It would explain why the greasy git suddenly looked so appealing, why his usual snarky remarks made Sirius quiver.

"Ha!" Sirius shouted and delivered a kick that sent the cauldron flying. Someone shouted in pain and cursed.

Severus gasped, far too shocked to respond properly.

Sirius jabbed him with a finger. "That's right! Thought I was too stupid to figure out your little plan, didn't you? Well, you're off it, Snivvy! You won't be using your potions on me!"

The color began to return to Severus' face, first green, then yellow and finally beet red. He was shaking and gnashing his teeth in fury. His hands were balled into fists that looked ready to pummel every inch they could reach. Sirius could feel the boy's fury coming off of him in currents. Bravado draining away, Sirius took a step back only to discover that three more irate students, covered with burns and blisters, surrounded him.

He groaned. "Oh s––"

"––uch outrageous behavior, the likes of which I've never seen!"

They were in McGonagall's office. Severus, hunched up and brooding, was burning holes starring at the carpet. Sirius was battered and bruised and tending to an already swelling black eye.

"What in the name of Atlantis were you thinking, Black?" shouted Professor McGonagall. "Another of your frivolous practical jokes, no doubt. I've been far too lenient on you, turning my back whenever you and your friends caused mischief. Well, this time you've gone too far! Some of your fellow students were injured by your shenanigans."

"Oh come now, Minerva." Professor Slughorn lifted a pudgy hand, still covered in crystallized pineapple sugar. "Little more than a few minor burns. Nothing that a trip to the hospital wing won't cure. We can hardly hold Mister Black responsible for venting some of his pent-up, boyish energy. And I'd be happy to tell his most excellent mother, the noble Lady Walburga Black, that her good son is beyond reproach.

"However," Slughorn turned and waved his finger in Severus' direction. "I do have a problem with my own house's pupil. Really now, Mister Snape. Behaving like a rascal, challenging Mister Black to a bout of muggle dueling? Despicable. Like a common thug."

Severus did not look at him. He sighed heavily, as if this was a speech he had heard many times before and already knew how it would end.

"Really, Horace," McGonagall said. "You cannot excuse one student's bad behavior simply because of his family."

"My dear woman. We are talking about an ancient family that goes back as far as––"

"I don't care if it's gone back as far as Merlin himself! Black is in my house and I say that he is accountable."

"A misunderstanding, I am sure. A son of Lady Walburga Black would never behave in such a way. And besides, Mister Black is the obvious victim here. He has been the dupe of a savage attack led by Mister Snape, one of my star pupils, too! Shocking. Shocking. I shall speak to the headmaster immediately about a suspension from––"

"But he didn't do anything!" Sirius blurted out.

The professors ceased their bickering to look at him.

"My dear boy," Professor Slughorn said in a fatherly way. "Admirable of you to stand up for your fellow student, but we cannot simply allow someone like Mister Snape to––"

"What do you mean_ someone_ like Snape? What's wrong with him?" Sirius was angry now.

"Nothing. Nothing." Slughorn's tone softened, as if he was addressing a small and frightened child. "But really, it simply will not do for a man of his, uh, status, to go around attacking his betters. No, in this matter a severe punishment is the best course––"

"Snape didn't do anything!" Sirius shouted, furious at Slughorn and his bloated condescension. "I was the one who fell asleep in class and let the potion burn. I was the one who threw it across the room, for Merlin's sake! I would have hit me too!"

"And I for one would like to know why you did such a thing," Professor McGonagall said.

Severus finally looked up, anxious to hear an explanation as well.

"I…uh," Sirius stammered. "I thought it would be funny."

Severus' black eyes narrowed but he said nothing.

"You see?" McGonagall stated. "He admits to it. Reckless. Complete disregard for those around him. Detention, Black! And you are banned from Quidditch until further notice!"

"What?" Sirius said in a hollow voice. "But Professor…."

"You heard me, Black. I warned you what would happen if you did not improve your class performance."

"Really now, Minerva," said Slughorn. "That's a tad hasty, isn't it? What about Snape's dreadful temper?"

"Oh, you needn't bother yourself, Horace. Snape will serve detention along with Black."

"Professor," Sirius said weakly. "Snape shouldn't be punished for something I did."

She regarded him for a moment. "Whatever your actions may have been, Black, nothing excuses students from fighting in class. You will each serve detention after Potions, and I shall set the tasks myself just to keep things fair. If that's all right with you, Horace?"

The portly man coughed uncomfortably. "Very well, although I am most seriously displeased."

xXx

"Why did you do that?" Severus asked once they were well away from McGonagall's office.

"Do what?" Sirius grumbled, his voice sounding very far away. He couldn't believe this. He was banned from Quidditch. His favorite sport in the world. What would James say when he found out?

"Why did you stick up for me like that?"

Sirius shrugged. "It didn't seem fair, did it? You getting in trouble instead of me just because of my birthright."

"Since when did you care about being fair? Especially when it concerned me? And this was not the first time you let Slughorn pass the blame onto me for something you did."

Sirius thought about this for some time. He could not deny it. How many times had he and James put a hex on Snape and then laughed it off while Slughorn reprimanded the Slytherin instead of them.

"I… I just couldn't stand how he was coming down on you for being poor, I mean, for not being born with a lot of money," he said quickly. "Like being a Black is so wonderful. If he knew what my mother was really like."

"You never used to care what happened to me," Severus snapped. "For almost five years now, you and your mates have caused me nothing but misery. What's changed now?"

Sirius was wondering that, too.

"I don't get you, Black." Severus ran a hand through his hair. The strands flowed through his fingertips and fell back just over his shoulders. "First you practically beg Slughorn into making me your new partner, then you twist my arm into inventing this potion, and then you go and sabotage it. Either you're a complete and total nutter, or you're hiding something."

Sirius stopped. "What do you mean?"

Severus scowled at him. "I mean, why did you really destroy my potion? You accused me of having a plan. Said I was using my potions on you. So, what did you think I was trying to do?"

Sirius looked away from those eyes that could see only too much. "It was a stupid prank. Really. I got bored. You know I can't stay awake for more than a few minutes in Potions."

The Slytherin pursed his lips. He did not look like he believed the story. "I used up the samples you gave me to make that batch." Severus muttered and began to walk down the hallway again. "You'll have to get more."

Sirius darted after him. "You mean you still want to be partners?"

"What choice do I have? Slughorn will fail me if I don't complete his assignment and I don't have wealthy parents to buy my grades for me. If this is not as important to you as you led me to believe it was––"

"It is!" Sirius grabbed Severus' arm and pulled to make the boy face him. "I want this to work. I do. What can I do to prove it to you?"

"Come with me to Hogsmeade tomorrow."

Sirius froze. Tomorrow was Saturday. Couples would be going into Hogsmead to enjoy the day, together. He realized that he still held Severus' arm and how warm it felt in his touch. "You mean… you want me… you want us to… to…."

"I am at a loss for ingredients," Severus said. "You can at last make yourself useful and use some of that inheritance of yours to purchase some new ones I wish to try. Now that you no longer have Quidditch to distract you, there can be no more impediments to our lessons."

"Get stuffed, Snape!" He shoved Severus away and turned to the staircase that lead to the Gryffindor tower.

"So you'll come?" Snape shouted after him.

Sirius grunted in reply. No more Quidditch, detention and a Hogsmead trip with Severus to look forward to. He couldn't decide if that was a good or bad thing.

xXx

A/N: I was watching _Pride & Prejudice_ when I wrote this chapter and thought that Mr. Collins was a lot like Slughorn. He liked to kiss up to those with rich and powerful family connections, too.


	5. Fluxweed and Butterbeer

A/N: This chapter is dedicated for my very dear friend and kindred spirit, silvercresnt11, a.k.a. Ethereal-Midnight. During our endless musings we came up with a joke that Remus would probably fix his make-up first if ever Severus actually spoke to him. She made this awesome comic in tribute. http: / Silvercresent11 . deviantart . com / art / Remus-is-a-Fangirl-80238320 (remove spaces). It was absolutely hysterical so I had to write it into this chapter.

Chapter 5: Fluxweed and Butterbeer

xXx

"This. Is. Shite!" James shouted, late that evening in the Gryffindor common room. "How could McGonagall ban you from Quidditch? You're the best Beater we have. What are we going to do?"

Sirius slumped in his favorite cozy chair in front of the fire and sulked. Peter ordered a house elf to send up a cup of cocoa in hopes of cheering him up. It did not. Sirius felt miserable. Miserable and weary and still completely confused. What was wrong with him anyway?

"It's so bloody unfair! What was McGonagall thinking? She wants a Gryffindor victory as much as we do. Didn't Slughorn try and stop her?"

"Yeah," Sirius moaned around his warm drink. "McGonagall said she'd too lenient on me until now. Said I'd gone too far."

James blinked. "Mad old bat. She calls that going too far? That was nothing really."

"Hooper and Wood were burned by all that liquid," Remus said gently. "You wouldn't be so glib if it had been Lily who was injured."

James' face turned a shade redder than unusual. Lily was still a tender subject for him. Especially since she still refused point blankly to go out with him. "So you think she was spot on to ban Sirius, do you? You're okay with him being chucked off the team, eh, Mister Prefect?"

"N-No," said Remus, withdrawing from James' angry glare. "No, I didn't want Sirius off the team. Of course I don't. Sirius, you know that."

Sirius lifted his mug in salute. "Ta, Moony. Look, Prongs, mate. It's happened. Nothing we can do about it."

"So, you really won't be playing next week?" Peter asked, almost afraid to speak. "I thought Slughorn would, you know, mull things over like he always does."

"You know what I think?" said James, his brown eyes dark with fury. "It's all highly suspect to me. You get in trouble in Potions class a week before the game. If Gryffindor loses to Ravenclaw next week, then Slytherin will be in the lead for winning the House Cup this year. I'll bet that was his plan all along. Tell us honestly. That slimy git provoked you, didn't he? Did something or said something to make you lose your cool, right? Just like a Slytherin to pull something dodgy like that, and Snivellous is certainly crafty enough to think of such a thing. You should go to the headmaster and tell him what Snape did. He'd let you back on the team. He knows that the Slytherins are all a bunch of lying, cheating––"

"Snape didn't do anything to me!" Sirius shouted to be heard over James' rant. "Honest, Prongs."

James stared at him in disbelief. "No way. No way! That git did something to you. I know he did."

"He didn't!"

"He did," said Peter. "I saw you in class. Snape was pouring potions while you were stirring the cauldron and you went all funny, Pad. Had this real strange grin on your face. I think… I think he may have Confounded you."

"You see? I knew it! Forget the headmaster. We'll deal with the oily git ourselves!" James said as he lovingly stroked his wand.

"James," said Remus. "Don't. He didn't do anything to provoke you, did he, Sirius?"

"No, he did not." Not intentionally anyway, Sirius thought.

"But––" started Peter.

"It was all me, alright? I did it and McGonagall buggered me! Severus had nothing to do with it."

"Severus?" James looked as if Sirius had just uttered the very worst of swear words. Peter chewed on his lower lip but remained silent. "When did you start getting so familiar, eh? During those cozy little study sessions in the library? Is the grease starting to seep into your brain and make you forget that it's Snivellous? He's the enemy! And no good ever came from a Slytherin, especially that snake!"

"Give over!" Sirius exclaimed. His cocoa slopped all down his front yet he did not seem to notice. "I've already said it about a hundred times today. Let it go."

James' expression darkened, he put away his wand with reluctance. "I'm going to bed. This day can't get any worse." Peter followed after him.

"What happened to Severus?" Remus asked tentatively. "Was he very upset?"

Sirius pointed to his swollen eye. "Who knew the little bugger actually had a cannon for an arm?" He nearly smiled but stopped himself when he noticed Remus staring at him. "We've got detention together. He's sore that I messed up his project. Sorry, Moony, but you're gonna have to give us more samples."

Remus shrugged. "What's a little hair and blood if Severus needs them?" He pulled his chair a bit closer to Sirius and leaned in so not to be overheard. "Do you… do you think he can really help me?"

"Dunno. He's dead clever though. At least he's trying to riddle it out. I shouldn't have ruined his potion. What if that was the cure you needed, mate? I may have cost you your only hope."

"There's always hope." Remus considered his friend. "You like him, don't you?"

"I— what? No, I swear, Moony, I don't—"

"You don't think he's a greasy git anymore."

Sirius calmed down a bit. "Well, not since he fixed his hair."

"You know what I mean."

"Oh! Well, I guess he's… not as bad as I used to think. We can get on for the most part. I'd still like to hex him sometimes, though."

Remus' face brightened. "I'm glad to hear that. That you are on friendly terms, I mean. James is just so dead set on hating him. He still thinks I'm a fool, but I guess you can't control who you fall in love with, right?"

Sirius merely nodded.

"He, ah, he did like the gift, right?" Remus asked.

"Told you already, yes, once he got over that I wasn't trying to poison him."

"I should have given him more. He's doing so much for me. Do you think that if he does find a cure then maybe, maybe he'll want to go with me? I'd be normal then. I could date like everybody else."

"You could do that now," said Sirius.

Remus just smiled sadly at him.

Sirius felt the guilt kick in his gut. He reached out and patted his friend's shoulder. "Don't fret, Moony. No more mischief from now on, okay? I'll make it up to you starting tomorrow. I'm going to Hogsmeade with Severus."

Remus' eyebrows rose up into his hair. "You are?"

"To buy ingredients," he added quickly. "I thought I owed it to him. My purse can more than make up for my fat head."

Remus seemed able to breathe again. "Oh. OH! Do you think when you're finished you two could meet us at the Three Broomsticks? It would be a perfect chance for me to talk with him."

Sirius squirmed a little in his chair. "I suppose we could. No reason not to."

xXx

"Look at this supply of fluxweed!" They were in Hogsmeade's Apothecary and Severus was like a kid in a candy shop. Or a Potions Master in an Apothecary. "These are really fresh. Listen. Hear that crackling sound? Like baked bread straight from the oven. That means the potency is at its highest. These work much better than the ones we use in class. Slughorn only buys the old, dried out stuff. Cheaper for him but produces meager results. Look at this! Powdered Runespoor eggs! Here, smell. That's how you know you're getting quality."

Sirius held the basket out for Severus to fill with whatever he deemed worthy. It was rare to see the sullen boy excited over anything outside of a classroom. His face was animated as his spoke and Sirius could have sworn that Severus' eyes were twinkling. An odd thing to get worked up over, he thought. Not like it was Quidditch, but to each his own.

"And these sopophrorous beans." Severus poured scoopfuls onto a scale. "Slughorn says to chop them but I discovered that crushing them with the flat of a silver blade is much more effective. Produces much more juice. Slughorn really is thick, only he doesn't know it. Wow! I always wanted to try Acromantula venom. So expensive, though. Aconite will do just as well."

"You want it?" Sirius reached over, plucked the bottle from the shelf and tossed it in with the lot. "Go on then. It's on me"

"That's nearly 70 galleons a pint!" Severus explained.

"Don't fret so much. It's nothing."

They selected a few more items and banged them on the counter. A witch with teal ringlets wrapped it all up and the boys headed back into the village.

Severus, slightly flushed, was uncommonly silent. Other students spending the afternoon in the village were giving them odd looks. Sirius began to feel rather awkward.

"So," said Sirius. "You, ah, you really know your potions. Curses and defenses, too. Better than most in seventh year. Where'd you learn it all?"

"From my mum," said Severus, a touch of pride in his voice. "She was top of her class as well. Taught me loads of things before I came to school. She would say 'it's not what you know but what you don't know that gets you.' And potions were easy to learn after I had to do the cooking when—" Severus stopped as if he had said too much.

Sirius realized that this was the most Severus had spoken about himself in all the weeks they had been partners. He didn't want the introvert to retreat back into his shell.

"What?" he asked tentatively. "Something happen to your mum?"

"Not really. Her health isn't always good so I have to help out at home. Cooking is a lot like mixing potions."

"I don't know if I'd find half of what we mix up in class what you'd call appetizing. Like the way things would go if I ever attempted to cook."

This coaxed a chuckle from Severus. They continued to speak about hobbies and classes as they strolled down High Street, occasionally stopping to peer into a shop window. Sirius couldn't believe how easy it was to have a conversation with the other boy. It was like chatting with Remus or James.

The wind began to pick up, whipping snow to sting their faces. Sirius pulled his warm fur lined cloak tighter around his shoulders. He now noticed that Severus only wore a thin coat that was patched and torn in areas.

"Aren't you freezing in that?"

Severus shrugged. "I've cast a heat spell on the lining, to fight off the chill."

"But why not get rid of that old thing and get yourself something smart? Honestly. You look like kneazles are nesting in your pockets."

"Oh, well I suppose it must be nice to have rich parents so that you don't have to worry about warm coats, or... or… spider venom that costs 70 bloody galleons a pint!" Severus' voice was high and irritated.

Silence fell again. Sirius blanched. How many times had Remus told him that not every wizard was born with his own vault at Gringotts? Now he'd gone and spoiled the easy mood they had finally established between them. He looked around wildly for something to break the tension.

"I didn't mean it like that. Look, why don't we head into the Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer? Get out of this cold, eh?"

Severus raised his eyebrows. "In there? But it's so crowded. So many people."

"Yeah, that's what makes it a pub. Come on. I'm meeting up with my mates anyway."

"I see," said Severus, his voice losing all trace of felicity. "I'll leave you to it then."

"They said they wouldn't care if you came along."

"That was nice of them." Severus did not sound pleased at all. "Bet Potter will cry buckets if I don't show."

"It's just a ruddy drink, Snape. And I'm about to freeze my bludgers off if we don't get warm soon." He opened the pub door and herded Severus inside.

It was crowded. Students and villagers alike all found it's warm atmosphere a perfect alternative to the freezing cold. A few friends greeted Sirius and waved him over. The innkeeper's daughter, a very pretty girl a few years his senior, gave him a most fetching smile. Rosmertta tossed her long, dark curls, prettily, making sure that he noticed how they swayed when she walked by.

He turned back to Severus who was looking around him with anxiety. The Slytherin hung his head so that his hair fell over his face and he was clutching his packages so tightly they seemed fit to burst. Sirius wondered why the pale boy looked like he was trying to disappear into the woodwork, and suddenly it dawned upon him. All this time he had thought Severus to be arrogant because the boy was smarter than everyone else. Now he could see that Severus was just exceptionally shy. It made Sirius ache within. He was overwhelmed by a desire to take Severus' hand.

Sirius heard his name and spotted James sitting with Peter and Remus at the far end of the room. Remus noticed Severus standing there and whipped out a small, circular object that he used to inspect his face. He even went so far as to dab his nose with what looked like powder.

Sirius rolled his eyes. The daft werewolf was wearing make-up? How could he, Sirius, ever be mistaken for the girl?

"There are my mates," he said and settled for dragging forward Severus by the sleeve.

Severus yanked his arm back as if scalded. "I'm on to you!" he spat.

"What?" Sirius asked, unsure what had just changed.

"You're trying to trick me again, aren't you? You and your mates want to humiliate me in front of everyone. They don't really want me to drink with them. No one does!"

Sirius shook his head. "Talk about paranoid. Will you stop being such a Suspicious Sally and come on? It'll be fine." He maneuvered them through the crammed tables and pulled up two chairs besides the Marauders. After a moment Severus decided that it was safe to sit as well. Sirius poured them two tall glasses of butterbeer.

"Alright, Paddy?" James said brightly. He did not acknowledge Severus in the least.

"S'up, James. Lads. Everyone remembers Severus, eh? He's been trying to teach me the importance of recognizing fresh fluxweed. I may actually be able to brew a solution without melting another cauldron this year."

"Hi, Severus," said Remus rather breathlessly.

"Lupin." Severus nodded his head. "Pettigrew. Potter." The last name came out with a definite hint of bitterness. He took a careful sip of butterbeer, and then gave Remus a quizzical look. "Is that… are you wearing lip gloss?"

Remus pursed his lips, flustered. "It's a…an ointment. A bit dry in here, isn't it?

"And the eyeliner?" Sirius snorted. "That for your dry skin, too?"

Remus laugh was uncomfortable this time. "What are you on about? Why would I wear make-up? So, Severus, um, having a good day?"

"It's alright," Severus said in a flat tone. "Black's been purchasing the things I'll need for my next project."

"And, um, how's that going?"

"Very ill, and these delays are not helping." He sniffed at Sirius. "But things should press on for the better now, thanks to Black."

"If you want to thank him so much," said James coldly, "why'd you get him chucked off the Gryffindor team? What did you do, eh?"

"What did I do?" Severus bristled. "I fail to see how any of that was my fault."

"There you go playing games," snarled James. "As if you did have it all planned to get Sirius off the team so the Slytherin would have no real competition for the House Cup. What did you do, Snivellus? Put a hex on our Sirius? Tell me you used the Imperious. I'd love to see you get hauled into Azkaban."

"Remarkable deduction, as usual," Severus said calmly. "Blame the Slytherin simply because he must be guilty due to association with his house. How like a Gryffindor. And you don't have to worry about being put under the Imperious Curse, Potter. You need a mind to control first."

"Prongs!" Sirius said in a warning. "I told you to drop this."

"How can you still defend him? He probably did it so you'd spend a lot of gold on him."

"First," Snape smirked, "I did it to sabotage Gryiffindor's Quidditch team and now I am an extortionist. How do I manage it all, Potter?"

"That's exactly what I would like to know! Greasy git."

"I'd rather be greasy than a big headed prat. And I'll thank you to lay off of Lily. She's ready to hit you with a permanent Severing Charm in an area you might consider valuable, the way you're constantly bothering her."

James turned crimson. "I'm not bothering her!"

"She says you are. Unless that's your best effort at charm. If that's so then I'd quit while I still had both my—"

"Shut up, Snively!" James was on his feet, his wand pointing at Snape's chest.

Severus did not even blink. He merely sat where he was as if this was tea and cakes with his auntie. "Go on then, Potter. Think you've got it in you? You're prefect mate my not try and stop you but I doubt McGonagall will be so forgiving this time. Not too chuffed with you lot these days, is she?"

"James, please!" Remus said weakly.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" barked James. "Like me to get kicked off the team too, then Gryffindor wouldn't stand a chance. Maybe if you weren't still built like a nine-year-old boy you might play for Slytherin yourself. At least then it would be a proper challenge instead of this subterfuge."

"James!" Sirius and Remus both stood up. Peter remained in his seat, rocking on his heels at what to do next. Several heads turned in their direction to see what was happening. "Put it way. You'll get us all in trouble."

"Since when did you let a little bit of trouble bother you?" James spat. "You've gone and let yourself be tamed by a stinking Slytherin! What does he do, suck your dick? Is that why you're so fond of your _private lessons_? Why else waste time on this ugly git?"

Severus sprang to his feet, glared darkly at Potter and then at Sirius. Nearly everybody was watching their table now.

"You're a right foul idiot, Potter! But everyone always knew that. Small wonder Lily has standards," he said and dramatically dashed for the door, his coat swishing around him like bat wings.

Sirius was about to call after him when a tall figure appeared out of nowhere and blocked Severus' way.

"Wotcher, Snape." It was Dunstran Diggory. "Doin' alright, are you?"

"Never better," Snape muttered.

"Is it true you thrashed Black? Gave him a shiner?"

"Oh, I suppose I did. So what?"

"And zapped him with a Bat-Bogey Hex?"

"Guilty as charged. What are you on about?"

Diggory beamed at him, his teeth were white and perfect. "May I buy you a drink?"

Severus was taken aback. "I… what?"

"For the man who took down Big Mouth Black. Merlin knows I've always wanted to wipe that stupid grin off his face, after all the times Gryffindor has beaten Ravenclaw. The fact that it was you is rather impressive. With a right hook like that you'd make a fair beater. So, will you come have a drink with us?"

"Er… I… yes, thank you."

Sirius could only watch as Severus moved to another table with Diggory and his mates. Dunstran passed over a butterbeer and let his fingers brush against Severus' in the process. Sirius' insides turned to ice and it was all he could do not to hit the pretty-boy with a Blasting Curse. Remus was glaring at the scene with equal vehemence.

"Diggory fancies him!" Remus whispered, his voice pure acid. "I can smell his desire from here." There was a dangerous fire in Remus' golden eyes that Sirius did not like. The thin boy growled deep in his throat. He gripped the edges of the table so tightly that they snapped as if made of dry rot.

"Easy, Moony." Sirius realized that beneath his friend's gentle exterior there lurked a monster. He wasn't sure he wanted to provoke that beast any further. "Not here."

"I have to do something, Pad," said Remus. "Now, before I lose him. Just look at Diggory. What chance does any guy have against him?"

Sirius was thinking along the same lines. "Why'd you have to go and ruin everything, James?" he said irritably. "For Remus, I mean. Can't you see he wanted to talk with Severus?"

"Concerned for sweet Severus, eh?" James narrowed his eyes and downed the rest of his drink. "In my opinion you're both better off without him. Bugger can't even take a joke."

"Saying that I'm getting him to suck my dick is a joke to you? That's… sick, James! Really sick."

"Now who can't drop it, Paddy? Honestly, one might think you took it seriously."

Sirius shook his head and refilled his glass. Diggory said something that made everyone around him laugh out loud. Severus included. He was smiling which made him look much more, Sirius had to admit, attractive, and he seemed far more comfortable in his new surroundings.

"So, honestly, Moony," he said. "Why _are_ you wearing women's make-up?"

"It's for blokes!" said Remus quickly. "Says so on the package."

"Then why the bloody hell is it pink? Oh, and look here. Your 'dry-lip ointment is strawberry flavored. With sparkles."

xXx

A/N: The HP Lexicon has Acromantula venom at 100 galleons per pint, but given that this is the 70's I thought that the Wizarding World should not exempt to inflation. Next chapter will be the one everybody's been waiting for! Dun-dun-dun! (dramatic chord)


	6. A Nighttime Stroll

Chapter 6: A Nighttime Stroll

"What do you mean you're not going through with it?" Sirius bellowed.

James and Peter looked up from their game of Exploding Snap just as it went off in the cubby boy's face. They laughed and began to set it up once again.

Sirius turned his annoyance back on Remus. "You ask me, no, _beg_ me to ask Snape to meet his _secret admirer_ tonight and, Merlin help me, I did it! I sounded like a bloody idiot in front of him! You should have seen the way he looked at me. Like I was a troll or something. Do you know how hard it is to convince him that him that I'm not a complete dunderhead? And now I may as well have a big, spiky T written across my forehead."

Remus retreated further into his four-poster bed. "I know and I'm really, really sorry, Pad, but I just can't go. He'll think I'm such a fool. Please, you can tell him that I'm sorry, but don't let him know that it was me. He'll never want to speak to me again."

"I may never want to speak to you again!" Sirius hissed.

It had been three days since the fiasco at the Three Broomsticks and Sirius still could not get the image of Severus and Diggory walking back to the castle together. He had served the first detention on Monday evening with the Slytherin, and although Severus had said nothing he was obviously in a more jovial mood. Or at least he wasn't being as great of his snarky self as usual. It made Sirius wish more than ever that he were back on the Quidditch team so that Dunstran Diggory would be sure to meet with a rogue bludger at the match. Accidentally, of course.

"Are you a Gryffindor or not?" said Sirius. "Where's that legendary courage the Sorting Hat thought you had enough of to earn a place in this House?" He sat down next to his friend and slapped him on the knee. "You've spent months pouting over this guy, and now that you finally have your big moment you're planning to do a runner? That's bollocks."

"Look at me!" Remus cried. "Hand me down robes, not even the second hand kind, and scars all over my face and body! And every time he gets close to me I trip or set something on fire. What could he possibly see in me?"

"Exactly what the rest of us do, mate. A great guy worth knowing. Give him a change. Snape's not as thick as I once thought. He… well, he has a way of surprising you."

"Then there's Diggory." That same dark burning crept into Remus' eyes making them glow gold. His hair bristled and his teeth looked much sharper than they were a moment ago. "They're probably together right now… meeting up in some secluded corridor, embracing… snogging…. I want to bite him! I-I want to tear into him, to hurt!"

Sirius was looking uncomfortable, especially since he didn't know which _him_ Remus was talking about. But now he was cursed with the image of Severus in the said deserted corridor kissing Diggory, which, unbidden, transformed into himself kissing Severus instead. Remus shifted and he was forced to abandon his guilty daydream.

"Do you think Severus likes him back?" Remus asked.

"What? Oh… er…."

"Exactly! Diggory can have any bloke in school he wants like _that_." He snapped his fingers for emphasis. "What chance does a freak like me have? And the full moon's on the way."

"Not for a while yet. You're still fine, Moony. Go down there tonight. Talk to him. Take him for a walk by the lake. Anything would be better than this not knowing. If he says no, well then, we tried. Go put on your best lip gloss and—" He received a pillow straight in the conk.

A half hour more of convincing wasted, and Sirius cursed as he made his way down through the corridors under James' invisibility cloak. He used the Marauders Map to steer clear of the patrolling prefects and any professors in the corridors. A tiny blip marked "Severus Snape" was pacing in the courtyard. Sirius darted down the spiral staircase and made his way around the Great Hall until he slipped out the less used servant's entrance.

From there could see Snape waiting in the far side of the yard. The moonlight made his dark hair shine and his pale skin glow even brighter. The Slytherin looked so much like a fallen angel that Sirius felt his breath hitch in his chest. How had he never noticed how handsome the other boy was?

Snape was probably creaming his robes thinking that pretty-boy Diggory was going to show up any moment, Sirius told himself. The two of them would probably chat about magical theories and books all night, and Snape would be enthralled by a worthy conversation with his intellectual equal. And how Diggory would thrill at the feel of Severus' soft hair in his Quidditch-toughened hands. Which he ought to thank him, Sirius, for actually. He hadn't bothered to notice Severus before the makeover. No one had. Perhaps Severus had had a point about vain fools who thought that looks were everything.

It pained him to think that Severus wanted someone else, Diggory, or Tiberius, or even bloody Cresswell! He'd prefer it was Remus, who had actually liked Severus from the start. And yet—

Sirius frowned. What a bitter pill it was to realize that he was crushing on his best friend's crush. Anger prickling the edges of his chest, he took the cloak off.

Snape suddenly noticed the figure that seemed to appear out of nowhere. "Black," he said.

"Snape," Sirius answered and walked over to the Slytherin. "Listen, the reason why I'm here right now is to tell you that your secret admirer can't make it tonight." It came out harsher than he had intended.

"Is that so?" Snape closed the final few steps between them. He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow insolently. "Isn't that a pity?"

"Yeah." Snape was a bit taller than he was and so close now that Sirius could feel the heat from the other boy's body. Sirius found he was shivering but not from the cold. "Uh, he wanted to be here, but something suddenly came up and…. Well, better luck next time, right? I'll just be going then."

"Black," Snape cut him off. "What's got your wand in a knot?"

"Maybe you should ask ol' Diggory!" Sirius spat. Had he really said it out loud?

"What does he have to do with this?"

"You know bloody well what he has to do with this!"

"If I wanted to have a discussion with a babbling idiot, Black, I could have chosen nearly anyone from Gryffindor. Do you think there's anyway for you to tell me what's wrong without you pitching a fit like a pre-pubescent girl?"

Sirius rounded on him. "How long can you go on insulting me?"

"How long have you got?" Severus smirked.

Sirius grabbed hold of the other boy's arm. "I ought to pound you! It's all your fault anyway!"

"What is?"

"If you don't know, I'm not telling."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you don't sound like a pre-pubescent girl at all. Fascinating, as it is to witness your mind at work, it's also quite stupid. Black, you really are an idiot, and you're not going to trick me again." He pulled Sirius' head towards him and crushed their lips together.

Sirius was completely gob-smacked by the kiss at first. He wanted to protest, he wanted to think of his best friend Remus, but Snape's lips were warm and his hair soft in Sirius' hands. He moaned and parted his lips to the warm tongue seeking entrance. "Severus," he sighed, his arms wrapped around the boy and they kissed again. It was so right. So much better than any stupid daydream.

"Knew it was you," Severus whispered and smiled. "Small wonder you've been so difficult to figure out."

"You… you did? But how? I thought, after the other day, Diggory—"

"He's alright. Talks too much about Quidditch for me. Then there's been all your ridiculous behavior. Barking and strutting like a wild dog challenging a bear. Lucky you are not working for the Department of Mysteries; you'd practically sing your secrets for anyone to hear. England would be lost by the end of the week. I said you were an idiot. I didn't say that there wasn't a reason behind it. I began to suspect when you gave me those berries. If they had been from Dunstran you wouldn't have become so furious at the mention of his name. Then I was nearly convinced that I had been mistaken about you after that stunt in class. But you managed to surprise me again on Saturday."

"What was that?" Sirius dared to run his hands over Severus' back and was pleased to feel a shiver in response. "Was it that you were impressed by a man who was willing to purchase spider venom that costs 70 bloody galleons a pint for you?"

Severus shook his head. "No, it was in the Three Broomsticks when Potter was being such an ass. You took my hand."

"I-I did?"

"Under the table. You held my hand and suddenly I didn't care what Potter said."

"I didn't realize I had even done that. James was bang out of order. Hang on. If you didn't care about James then why did you go off with Diggory?"

"I thought you had noticed that I had a crush on you and had been making fun of me to your mates." He blushed. "I was a bit distraught, but you were so bleeding cowardly for a Gryffindor, I didn't know what to do. I figured that if I didn't make something happen it never would. You have no idea, Black. Sirius. No idea how long…."

The sound of his name inflamed Sirius like nothing he'd ever experienced before. He dove in for another kiss and was now grateful for how thin the material of Severus' coat was. He wrapped his fur cloak around them both as he moved to deepen the kiss.

They went for a stroll along the lake. They held hands, they talked, they teased one another, they kissed, and they sat under the dim moonlight and murmured words that made up for all their pointless bickering. Deep down Sirius knew he should be writhing with guilt, but he forced it away. He was too busy feeling happier than he could recall in his entire life.

xXx

It was nearly four in the morning when Sirius made it back to the tower. He had found it very difficult to say goodnight to Severus, but the Slytherin absolutely refused to miss his Arithmancy class. So after much snuggling Severus disappeared down into the Slytherin dungeons, only to reappear a moment later for a finale kiss goodnight. Several tries later and Sirius really did have to get back, with the promise to meet up that evening. He never thought the day would come when he, Sirius Black, would be looking forward to detention.

Sirius had managed to dodge Pringle, the caretaker, until he was standing just outside the portrait of a large woman in a pink taffeta dress.

"Back so late? Wicked boy," scolded the Fat Lady.

"Yes, and it's been a wonderful night!" Sirius exclaimed and gave her a peck on the mouth.

"Cheeky blighter!" she said, but he could see two spots of color on her face as she swung open.

Sirius crept into his room where he heard Peter's typical snoring. He yawned and kicked off his trainers.

"Pad?"

Sirius nearly jumped out of his skin. "Moony? That you? Merlin's balls! You nearly made me piss myself!"

"Sorry. Lumos." A faint ball of light appeared from Remus' wand tip.

"Have you been up all this time?"

"I couldn't sleep for worry. What happened? How did Severus take it?"

"Better than you might thing." Sirius hoped the faint light wouldn't pick up his crimson face.

"You didn't tell him about me, did you?"

"I swear to you, Moony, you're name never came up," he said in all honesty.

Remus sighed with relief and hugged Sirius tightly. "Thank you, Padfoot! You are the best friend a bloke could ever have! I think I'll be able to sleep now. G'night."

Sirius grunted and crawled into bed. He then berated himself horribly for betraying Moony, for lying to his friends, for going against his morals by falling for a Slythrein, and after all he'd done to separate himself from that side of his family, too. He wanted to hex himself with an Entrail-Expelling Curse, but frankly he didn't need the mess, or the reputation. Besides, he didn't know how to perform the spell anyway. He supposed Severus would know.

Once more he began to tell himself that he was the most worthless piece of slime, that he deserved to have red-hot iron shoes tied to his feet and that he would end up an unloved duffer like his uncle Alphard, old, alone and mad as a hatter.

Then he noticed that his cloak smelled of Severus and he lay there with the warm feel of those lips still ghosting across his own.

Sod the rest of it. Life was good.

xXx

A.N.: Anyone who knows The Brady Bunch will recognize Marsha's famous "something suddenly came up" line.

If you're not puking up marshmallow bunnies by now then you're made of stronger stuff than I thought. Beware! The fluff will not end yet, although obstacles are ahead for our Snack boys.


	7. Chemical Reactions and Nicknames

Chapter 7: Chemical Reactions and Nicknames

xXx

"I can't believe I'm a Slytherin-lover," said Sirius in jest. "I must be some sort of weird, never seen before hybrid."

"I suppose we both are," said Severus. "We're Slytherindors."

"That's not right."

"And why is that?"

"You used the whole Slytherin name and just tagged on the last bit of Gryffindor. That sounds like there's more Slytherin than Gryffindor, doesn't it?"

"What's wrong with that? Quite an improvement if you ask me. And you could use some civilizing."

Sirius pouted. "I think Gyffindorin sounds much better."

"More like a skin disease. You tower-tenants are always acting like Slytherin is the abyss of all evil. As if Gryffindor shite out pure gold."

"And dungeon-dwellers are all on about Gryffindor being all brawn and no brains."

"I have yet to find any evidence to the contrary. Oh, stop pouting. You really are acting like a big girl's blouse over this. Slythfindor then. Happy?"

"Happy doesn't come close to how I feel right now."

Sirius snuggled closer against Severus' chest. They lay together on a blanket under a beech tree, Severus with his back against the trunk and Sirius wrapped tight around him like an overgrown puppy. The Slytherin had cast several concealment and silencing charms around them, making sure that they would not be disturbed in the few precious moments they could share. He really was an extraordinary wizard, Sirius thought. With talent like that one had no need of invisibility cloaks.

Not everything was going as perfectly for Sirius. He and James were not exactly on speaking terms these days, he couldn't help but flinch every time he saw Remus and he sorely missed Quidditch more than anything. In spite of it all, Sirius was happier than he had ever thought possible. The feel of Severus' hands running through Sirius' hair was more powerful than any magic spell he learned about in class. He turned his head slightly and inhaled Severus' scent. He smelled of sandalwood and cedar and a slight metallic tang that was purely his own. Sirius' animagus senses were going berserk.

"Your leg is shaking," Serverus commented.

"Eh? I hadn't noticed. Well, it feels good when you do that."

"I suppose you are more mutt that man sometimes," Severus chuckled and brushed the long waves again. Sirius shivered and gave a blissful yip. "Your birthday is coming up."

"I suppose it is."

"I'd like to do something, you know, special."

Sirius' eyes fell closed as he enjoyed the sensation. "Me mates are taking me to Hogsmeade for a big bash. I don't think I can get away."

Without warning he was dumped unceremoniously face first into the snow. "Hey, what gives?"

Severus folded his arms across his chest. "So you're seeing your friends but I am not invited to this little party, eh? And you expect me to be pleased by this?"

"What? Oh, come on now, Sev." He tried to reach for the other boy but was rebuked. "You know I can't invite you. My friends wouldn't understand."

"And I don't count as one of your friends, I suppose. Just someone good enough to snog in empty corridors."

"You don't get it. James is still on the warpath ever since Ravenclaw beat Gryffindor by 450 to 10 last week. And Remus is not feeling his best right now. He'd freak out if he even suspected. Remus—"

"Again Remus Lupin!" Severus snapped. "Why do we always end up talking about him? What is it between the two of you? Are you in love with him?"

"What?" Sirius nearly laughed but stopped at the livid expression on Severus' face. "No. Of course not."

"Is he in love with you?"

Sirius couldn't contain his laughter now. Severus scrambled to his feet. "Wait a mo!" He jumped up and pulled Severus back to him. "Is that what you're fussing about? You're jealous?"

"I do not fuss! And I'm not jealous! I simply want to know why what Lupin thinks matters so much."

"It just does, alright? If he knew… it wouldn't be good. Trust me. Besides, I thought we both agreed to keep it on the sly for a while, to avoid all the inter-house tension." He attempted to put his arms around the Slytherin again.

Serverus nudged him away. "It's easier for you. You're housemates won't murder you in your sleep. I just thought we wouldn't have to hide from our closet friends. I hate not telling Lily about this."

"I don't like it any better, but my mates. They just wouldn't understand. Remus… I-I haven't told them because… because…."

Severus was looking deeply into his eyes in that eerie manor of his. Sirius looked down quickly, afraid of what those dark orbs might see.

"You haven't told them that you're a poof," Severus said.

Sirius looked offended at first, but then saw the window of opportunity without having to lie. "No, I haven't. I haven't told anyone yet. And if this got back to my parents, well, disowning is the least they'd do to me. My mum mounts and hangs house-elf heads on the wall. Imagine what part of mine she'd cut off!" Actually that was not far from the truth.

Severus put his arms around Sirius and hugged him firmly. "I didn't realize. It was hard for me, too. My parents were not happy at all with the news, especially my dad, but Lily was there for me and that meant all the world. You take your time and when you're ready, I'll still be here."

Sirius returned the embrace and could not help kissing him deeply.

"I just thought," began Severus, spots of color blooming in his cheeks, "that for your birthday we could be closer."

"You mean you want to join us in the Gryffindor common room?"

Severus' face was beet red now. "I mean, I thought that we could be _closer_, you know. Let's be more than this now."

"Oh……… OH!" Sirius's mind slowly caught up with the rest of reality. Heart hammering in his chest he caught Severus in a powerful bear hug and spun them around. "You mean… you really want…. Oh, baby!"

"I may have reconsidered, and don't ever call me _baby_ again." Voice heavy with sarcasm, Severus tried to keep a straight face but the slight curl at corners of his mouth gave him away.

"Admit it. You're crazy about me."

"I'm crazy. Period. And I don't mean _everything_, mind. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. But there are things we could do, that is if you want to."

The image of a naked Severus lying on a bed of Gryffindor-red, silk sheets left Sirius with very little ability to think, or breathe for that matter. The hand that stroked Severus' hair slid down to caress his shoulder and then slipped down past the collar. Sirius counted the vertebrae along Severus' spine with his fingertips. "Wha-what sort of things?"

Severus no longer hid his wicked smile and arched his back to the touch. "Stuff. Certain touches, things that have proven to be rather… pleasing."

"And how would you know these things?" Sirius stared at him. "Something I should know about?"

"Don't get your knickers in a bunch. I hear things in the Slytherin dorm. We're not a bunch of prudes like you lot. Unlike my housemates, I haven't had anyone I wanted to try them out with, until now."

"Sod my mates!" exclaimed Sirius. "You're coming to my birthday party."

"I wasn't trying to manipulate you into that. I don't want to come in between you and your friends."

"That's different. I'm not in love with any of them."

They both froze. Had Sirius admitted that out loud? He silently cursed himself for sounding so ridiculously besotted.

Severus gasped. "Did you just say…? You couldn't have meant…. It's much too soon. We shouldn't be feeling this way after so short a time. It's stupid."

"We?" he stammered. Could it be possible?

"Do you want me to say that you are my everything? My heart's desire? The man of my dreams whom I have been waiting for my entire life? That when you look at me I can believe that a miserable wretch like me can also find love and love in return?" Severus was speaking very fast and he was trembling. "Well, I won't say it because it's a lie! This is just a crush. Just a silly, hormone-induced, completely insane crush."

Severus tried to draw away but Sirius held him fast. Feelings of lust were eclipsed by something stronger, a far greater intimacy that was unfamiliar to both of them. Yet neither wished to flee. Sirius pressed their brows together. "It's more that this."

"I know," Severus whispered.

xXx

"Sweetheart?"

"No."

"Honey?"

"No."

"Cupcake?"

"No!" said Severus. "And what's with all the sickeningly cute names? I may vomit."

Sirius laughed and hugged Severus tighter, trying to distract the other boy from his potion. They were all alone in the Potions lab, stealing a cuddle before class began. "C'mon. I need something to call my little bunny."

"Keep this up and I'll test my latest curse on you! It's designed to render the enemy's flesh and never heal unless the counter curse is spoken."

"You wouldn't do that to me, would you?" he said teasingly.

"Take care that you do not become my enemy then."

Sirius grew more apprehensive. "Really now. That sounds like some serious dark magic. You shouldn't be playing around with that."

"I am not playing. I am learning how it works to better understand it. Light magic could be just as harmful as dark if used in underhanded ways."

"For example?"

"Say, rearranging all the floating candles in the Great Hall to spell out a big, flaming FUC—"

Sirius grinned. "That was a keen bit of magic, eh? How'd you know it was us?"

"A prank during the ceremony when the Slytherins won the House Cup? An idiot could have figured that one out."

"I mean it. You wouldn't become a Dark wizard, would you?"

Severus gazed at him from the corner of his eye. "I have no deeper wish to cause harm, other than in defense. The spells I create are only for life-threatening emergencies, as it should be."

Sirius smiled and relaxed. He was pleased. "Beauty?"

"Definitely not!"

"Why? You're beautiful, Severus."

"Now you are big, dumb and blind as well." Severus turned his back to Sirius and began to slowly sprinkle chopped fluxweed into the cauldron. The potion turned from a dull bronze to a healthy gold. He seemed encouraged.

"I mean it." Sirius pressed his chest against the other boy's back and circled his waist. "Do you know how beautiful you looked that first night in the courtyard with the moonlight glittering in your hair?"

"Don't be absurd. And you best not be fishing for me to comment on how much better looking you are. As if you need yet another person to praise you."

Sirius made a whining noise and nuzzled closer against Severus' neck. "It only means something if it comes from the right person." He nibbled an earlobe as his hands carefully moved under Severus' robes and made contact with the fabric of his shirt.

"Romance does not come readily for me." Severus continued stirring the cauldron but leaned a bit closer into the caress. "Fine. You're gorgeous. You're the best looking bloke in school. You're the reincarnation of Godric Gryffindor himself."

"Hmm. I can't help but detect a hint of snarkiness in your voice." His fingers popped a button and were now tracing the line of collarbone and down around the pectoral.

"You _are_ handsome," Severus gasped and rested his head against Sirius' shoulder. "So much that it makes me ache. Dammit, now you have me sounding like an idiot."

"You're no idiot. You're brilliant. I'll call you Brain because everyone knows that smart is sexy."

Severus smiled. "Sirius, you're a dog."

Alarmed, Sirius grabbed him by the arms and spun him around. Had Severus guessed his secret? "Why-why would you call me that?"

Severus shrugged. "Because you whine like one, Dog."

Sirius felt relief wash through him and captured Severus' mouth for another kiss.

The classroom door opened and the three Marauders noisily bustled in.

"Sirius," said James.

"Severus," Remus practically sang.

Sirius was hunched over his workstation, chopping roots like there was no tomorrow.

"Remember to cut those evenly," said Severus calmly while he mixed a few drops from a red beaker into his simmering potion. Neither boy looked at the other. "They will work better that way."

James, Peter and Remus made their way to the back of the room. Remus, too busy staring at Severus, tripped and collapsed in between the desks.

Severus kneeled beside him. "Are you alright?"

Remus looked at him sheepishly. "Sorry about that. Pretty dumb, eh?"

"Not at all," said Severus. "I was the one who left my rucksack lying out where anyone could fall over it." He held out a hand and pulled Remus to his feet. "You sure you're okay? You look rather pale."

"I've been ill," Remus said nervously. "Bad cold going around this time of year."

"Have you been to the infirmary?"

"Yes, yes. Madame Pomfrey gave me some Pepper-up Potion. Thanks."

"Lupin."

"Yes?" Remus' breath caught in his throat.

"I need my hand back."

"Oh, right." Embarrassed Remus dropped Severus' hand and took a step back, knocking over a chair.

"Get on with it, Moony," said Sirius. "Slughorn is on the way. Quit messing around."

Remus blinked and then headed to his table.

"What was that all about?" Sirius whispered as he placed the chopped roots in front of Severus.

"I was being nice to your friend," answered Severus. "What's wrong with that?"

An icy chill formed in the pit of Sirius' stomach. "I just don't want them to get suspicious."

"You want me instead to point and laugh at your friend while he's face down on the floor?"

"No. But Remus shouldn't get the wrong idea, is all."

"And what idea would that be?"

Their conversation was interrupted as Slughorn entered the classroom followed by the rest of the class.

"Ah, my little experiment is working out I see," said Slughorn. "Gryffindors and Slytherins working together in harmony. Capital."

Lily smirked and leaned in close to Severus. "My ass! If Big Head Potter makes one more stupid comment to me I'm gonna drown him in his own cauldron. I don't see how you can be so calm."

Severus patted her on the elbow. "Try the Bat Bogey Hex. Works wonders."

"Let's begin, shall we?" Slughorn said and the class found their places. "Now we are continuing out study of chemical reactions. The substance or substances initially involved in a chemical reaction are called reactants. Now, different chemical reactions are created by combinations of chemical synthesis in order to get different results. The reactants could be completely from each other in their individual states but when we combine they may surprise us by producing a unique relationship."

Sirius grinned at Severus and took his hand under the table. Severus gave him a tiny smile and squeezed in return, looping his pinky around Sirius' until they were linked together.

The boys were not aware that someone else noticed the small gesture. And he was not pleased at all.

xXx

A/N: I admit that chemistry was one of my worst subjects. Thank goodness for Wikipedia to help me with the difficult terms. Cirquedunedwol mentioned to me that Sirius' birthday should be on St. Patrick's Day. Padfoot, St. Paddy, get it? I liked it so much that I added it into my story.


	8. Detention and Intervention

A/N: YAY! Another update. Sorry it's taking so long but my dog has not been feeling great lately and insists on being held while I work. Most of this chapter was typed with one hand (all small caps) and then corrected later. He's better now so I was able to finish. I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been sending me such positive feedback and encouraging me let the marshmallow bunnies run amok. So here goes.

xXx

Chapter 8: Detention and Intervention

xXx

At this evening's detention Sirius and Severus were asked to clean all the caldrons in the lab, without magic. Slughorn occasionally monitored their progress while he graded papers, all the while stuffing petite fours down his gullet, one after the next.

Meanwhile Sirius used every opportunity to graze against Severus' hands or legs or to try and catch the other boy's eye. When Severus ignored him, Sirius chucked sopophrorous beans at him until Severus hissed and heaved a scouring brush back at Sirius. After much of this sort of flirtation, Severus looked up at Sirius gave him a smile, the one that lit up his entire face. The smile that only Lily Evans had been able to coax out of the shy boy, and Sirius understood what she had seen in Severus Snape all this time.

"Mr. Snape!" said Slughorn. "I don't know what sort of behavior you call this but whatever you are doing is obviously causing Mr. Black distress. Just look at the state he is in. At home to Mr. Nervous. I daresay."

"My apologies Professor," said Severus. "I didn't mean to disturb Black's delicate nature. Perhaps you should send him off for a nice bubble bath and a potion to treat his menses? You know girls and their _special_ time."

Sirius laughed and then pretended to choke on something stuck in his throat.

"Mind yourself, sir," replied Slughorn. "I am not above handing out an extra week of detention if I must. Force you lads to work out your differences, even if I must lock you in a closet until you find a new position."

Sirius chortled into his sleeve and Severus hid his blush under his long hair.

"Sir," Sirius said when he could control the tone of his voice. "We really can handle the rest of this mess. Why don't you take off and we'll settle things?"

Slughorn regarded his empty box of sweets and patted his potbelly. "Seeing how we are nearly finished for the night, yes. Yes. Why not? Close the door behind you and remember, lads. No fighting."

"No fighting, sir," they said in unison.

Once they were alone Sirius fell upon Severus and pinned him against the nearest wall. "Oh Merlin! I thought the gasbag would never leave. You were so far away from me all evening, Brain. Too far."

"Impatient, Dog," Severus put his hands on either side of Sirius face and kissed him until both their lips were swollen. He alternated nips and kisses as he made his way from Sirius' chin to his neck. "Your friend Remus, are you sure that he is all right?"

"You're thinking about him _now_? You really know how to charm a guy."

"Mere concern is all. The way he looked at me was so strange. Almost as if—"

"He's fine. Why are you asking?"

"Because he didn't look fine. He looked like a dementor with legs. It looked worse than a mere cold. Anything contagious by chance?"

"I said he was fine!" He held Severus at arms length. Why do you care anyway?"

"Because I'm falling in love with him."

Sirius' face turned the shade of sour milk.

Severus rolled his eyes. "And you were the one who accused me of not being more sensitive to people's conditions. I'm trying to figure out what he has, straw-head. You know we're going for career counseling in a few weeks? Well, I've been thinking more about going into the mediwizard field. Healers must learn to recognize symptoms."

"He's got Madame Pomfrey for that. He doesn't need you poking around into his business."

Severus was upset now. "I meant well. No need to feed me to the basilisk."

Sirius regained his composure. "I'm sorry, Brain. I didn't mean it like that. Remus is just a bit sensitive about his health. Blokes are always having a go at him because he's always sick and I guess the guys and I are a tad over protective."

Severus looked at his feet. "What the four of you have with one another. Like a family. I've never had that."

"You have me."

"You go around snogging your brothers?"

"Gods no! Peter is not my type at all." He wove his hands through Severus' hair and kissed his mouth, his nose, his cheeks, his jaw.

"We'd better get to our dorms before curfew," gasped Severus.

"What will Sluggy do? Give us more detention? Actually that's not such a bad idea." He raised his wand and blasted several jars spilling their contents everywhere. "Opps! Clumsy me."

"You're determined to get us expelled!"

"Slughorn won't expel me. I'm a Black, remember? Above reproach." He tucked his wand in his back pocket and kissed Severus again.

Severus used the embrace to lift Sirius' wand and then point it at Slughorn's desk. "Reducto!" A pile of smoking ash was all that remained.

Sirius was shocked. "Why'd you do that? And with my wand, too?"

"In case they check to see who had cast the spell. I'd rather not lose any more points from Slytherin." He tucked the wand safely into Sirius' back pocket and gave his rump a reassuring pat. "And as you said, you are a Black."

"Naughty, Brain!" Sirius ground his hips forward, rubbing their pelvises together. "You have been bad and need to be punished." One hand snaked down and unbuttoned Severus' fly, then slipped inside until his fingers wrapped around the already hard shaft.

"What… ohh… what are you doing?"

"An early taste of my birthday present." His fingers ran up and down the heated flesh until Severus was moaning and shivering in Sirius' arms. Suddenly Sirius withdrew his hand and stepped back.

"What are you doing? You can't stop and leave me like this!" Severus hissed.

"Sorry luv," Sirius flashed his golden smile, "but I did say you needed to be punished."

"Bastard!" Severus tackled him with more force that should be possible for such a thin boy and they both fell to the floor laughing and kissing.

xXx

"Hey, Sirius!"

"S'up Wormy? Prongs?" Sirius was still whistling as he dropped his pack by the Gryffindor fireplace and took his usual seat. "Where's Moony?"

"On prefect duties," Said James in his affable demeanor. "We thought we'd wait for you. Catch up on some homework."

Sirius eyed him cautiously. "You speaking to me again?"

"Wha? That? Honestly, Pad, you really need to lighten up. I was just blowing of some steam. Besides we've got Jordan to cover for you and he's getting better. Nothing on you mind but, well…. McGonagall can't keep you off the team forever. Another loss like that and she'll be begging you to rejoin the team."

"Pumpkin juice, paddy?" asked Peter, already filling a glass and set it on the table.

"Ta, mate. Good. I haven't finished my essay on Chimaeras. I mean, they're part lion and part goat so why do they lay eggs? Ah, this is Moony's area of expertise. Best wait for him, eh? Anyone done with his dream forecast homework? Let's see. I've already said that I'd fall off a tower and burn my tongue on some incredibly hot soup. What else can I put down?"

"That you'll betray a close friend?" said James.

"Nice one. That's sounds convincing." Sirius finished the glass and jiggled it for Peter to refill. "And on Thursday I am likely to… lose a cherished possession. How's that?" A smack of his lips and he was thirsty for another drink.

Padfoot," said James slowly. "How are you feeling?"

"Never better."

"You sure?"

"I already said so, mummy dearest."

James and Peter exchanged a strange look.

"What's with the two of you? You're acting very odd."

"We're not the only ones," James said.

"But that should all be cleared up now, eh, James, eh?" said Peter. "He said it was sure to work guaranteed."

"What's sure to work?" asked Sirius.

"Watched him brew it himself we did and he said it would remove all trace, so you should be fine now, Paddy. Back to normal, eh?"

"Brewed what? All trace of what? Talk sense already, man!"

"What's important," said James in a smoothing tone, "is that we figured out what that sneaky git was up to and we took care of it. Discretely too. Imagine if something like this got out. You'd be the laughing stock of the entire school. No. We simply asked Slughorn to show us the correct way to brew the strongest antidote for a love potion there is, and then we nicked some and put it in your pumpkin juice."

Sirius listened to this fantastic story. "Uh-hun. Right. Here's the thing. Why?"

"Because, and take it easy, mate, because that git Snape has somehow been slipping you love potion."

Sirius threw his head back and gave his bark-like laugh. "Mental. The lot of you. And how'd you two geniuses work that out?"

"Because Peter said he saw you holding his hand in Potions class," admitted James.

No one was laughing now. "Wormtail," Sirius said in a cold tone. "I think you're mistaken, mate. I wouldn't do that with Remus' guy."

"Then why were you snogging him?" Peter said in a very high and very squeaky voice.

Sirius felt as if the floor had just fallen away. "What did you say?"

"After I saw you holding hands I stayed behind. I thought something dodgy was going on so I transformed and hid in the rafters. I saw you… you and him…."

"That was last week. You're only coming to me with this now?" Sirius growled.

Peter's eyes went wide with fright. "I uh I wanted to make sure…."

Sirius seized the front of Peter's robes and dragged him over the table. "You mean you wanted to watch all our little snogging sessions. Did it turn you on wormy? Get your nasty little raisins off?"

Peter blushed and hung his head.

"Yeah I thought so. And when you had your fill you went running to James. Didn't even bother asking me about it first. Did you wank off again at the thought of finally getting James' attention with something this important?"

"Don't get sore at him, mate," said James and pulled them apart. "It's Snape who needs to be taken care of. I told you he wasn't to be trusted. He used an illegal potion on you so you'd be too distracted to concentrate on Quidditch. Maybe even hoped it would get you kicked off the team. At the very least he was trying to humiliate you. Well, I've got a little plan of my own to take care of him."

Sirius slammed his glass into the table, shattering it. "You think just because he's in Slytherin that automatically makes him evil. Well, you're wrong. We all were wrong. Sorry to tell you this but if either of you two ponces care to know, Snape never used a love potion on me."

"Of course he did. You're just confused. Slughorn said it was an after effect of the potion. Why else would you be acting like a…a—"

"Poof? Gee, I guess it's because I am one!" Sirius shouted.

Peter went very pale and James' jaw dropped. "No you're not. I've seen you with girls. Kissing girls."

"Yeah, and I never stayed with them for more than a few days, did I? Always thought it was them. That they were too boring to keep my interest, but now I know it was me. I like Severus. Not at first maybe, but there were things about him that struck me and, and I fell in love. Without the use of any potions."

James looked like Sirius had just uttered the most disgusting swear word imaginable. "You're mad! Barking mad. Look at you. You're not even trying to get back on the team when we need you. And every chance you get you're with him instead of us, your friends. Listen to me, Padfoot, Sirius, he's bad news. He's a bad dark wizard! We are best friends and you should listen to us. He cares too much about the Dark Arts, and Merlin knows we've seen enough of the curses he's invented himself. That's what he's like. He's no good for you."

"For your information," Sirius said through clenched teeth. "He told me that he's thinking of becoming a Healer. Does that sound like a Dark wizard to you? And Lily doesn't hate him the way you're dead set to do. He's different, James. You're just seeing the kid we liked to pick on because he was a bit different."

James stared at him. The heat from his face fogged up his square glasses. "Sirius if you do this, if you stay with that… that… I'll never speak to you again. I swear it!"

Sirius grabbed his papers and rucksack. "I'm going up to bed. And if you lads try to slip me a mickey again, don't."

He stormed up the stairs to the boys' dorm room, kicking and scrapping his feet every step of the way. His nerves were shaking. He wanted to hex something. He wanted to shout at James until Big Head Potter saw reason. He wanted to see Severus and hold him close.

The door opened behind him. Sirius was half dreading, half hoping that it was James, but instead Peter entered the room.

"Is… is it all right if I come in?" he muttered. His buckteeth chewed two holes in his lower lip.

Sirius grunted.

"I'm really, really sorry, Padfoot. Honest. I was worried about you."

Another grunt.

"Anyway, I thought that you were getting friendly with Snape for Remus' sake."

_Remus_. The blade cut into Sirius' gut and twisted. "Remus," he whispered. "Did you tell him, too?"

Peter shook his head. "Didn't want to be the one to tick off a werewolf. What are you going to do?"

"I meant what I said down there. Sev and I are friends. We're more than that. I need him."

"What about Remus, eh?" said Peter with a concern that is shocking. "He's your mate, too, and mates don't do that to each other."

"I didn't mean for it to happen. I really didn't! It just happened. And Severus feels the same way. Are you going to tell our Moony?"

"I don't know what'll hurt him worse; the fact that his sweetheart belongs to someone else, or that it's his best friend. Funny thing is, you know how Remus is. He'd probably have stepped aside if you had gone to him earlier, before you started to deceive him."

Sirius sank into his and put his hands in his face. Tears were threatening to spill.

"You should break it off."

"I can't," Sirius answered, his voice completely dead.

"Then you have to tell him," said Peter.

"I can't do that either."

"If you don't, James will. You saw what he's like. He's going to do something rash, I know it, and I just can't go against him. You understand that, don't you, Sirius? He's James, after all."

Sirius nodded, secretly feeling sorry for the little toady. "You do that, Wormtail. You do what you have to do. And so will I."


	9. The Waking of the Beast

Title: crushcrushcrush

Chapter 9: The Waking of the Beast

xXx

"You've been rather distant and gloomy lately," Severus commented. Professor Slughorn had them filing old papers under a new system that was entirely of his own making; one that made no sense whatsoever to either boy. He glanced at them from time to time, hardly trusting them out of his sight after the incident with his desk the previous week. Sirius and Severus sat at the back of the room in near silence as they worked their way through dozens of dusty, yellowing boxes.

"Afraid of becoming an old man of sixteen?" Again Severus tried to bridge the gap with his paramour while sorting receipts for Slughorn's ingredients for Confusing and Befuddlement Drafts.

"Hmm?" Sirius was staring out the Potions class window. If he craned his neck he could just make out the top of the Quidditch field and the players circling on their brooms. Gryffindor against Hufflepuff, and it was Gryriffindor's last chance to make it to the House Cup this year. The winner would play Ravenclaw to vie against Slytherin. Sirius saw a red clad player take a bludger and fall out of view. He groaned inwardly. If James lost today—

"Perhaps if you actually did some of the work instead of skiving off, we may get through this with time enough for you to get down there," Severus said.

"Mmmm."

"Or perhaps you'd prefer if I would just get down on my knees and suck you dry."

Sirius nearly lost his footing; he had spun around so quickly. "Are you drunk? Slughorn's right here!"

Severus sneered with a bravado that only he seemed to posses at the moment. "I suppose old Sluggy can watch." His voice grew louder with each word. "If that's alright with you, Professor. That is, if you're not too busy stuffing your stupid, ugly gullet with cakes or giving us outdated and seriously misguided facts in class, you duffer!"

Sirius felt ready to faint waiting for the potions master's response. He waited. When nothing happened Sirius dared a glance at the front desk. Slughorn was busy with his papers, and his sugar coated pineapple slices.

"Has he gone deaf?" Sirius whispered. "Or… you don't suppose he _wants_ to, you know, watch?"

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, exacerbated. "I believe it would spoil his appetite for life. Mine too, come to think of it."

"So how come he hasn't banished us into the Forbbiden Forest by now?"

"He isn't deaf. Not permanently, at least. Basically we can say anything we like and all he will be able to hear from our direction is a white noise."

Sirius broke into a wide grin. "You're joking. I've never heard of a spell that could do that. Another one of your inventions?"

The Slytherin sat up a bit straighter with pride. "It is."

"Brilliant! You could be a Marauder with brains like that!"

Severus made a face. "Perish the thought of being sorted amongst you lot."

"I didn't even hear you say a spell, or see you use your wand for that matter."

Severus' grin grew until he was lit from ear to ear. "I have been practicing my non-verbal, wandless spells. I'm getting better at it, so long as I concentrate and keep up my strength." He pulled out an apple from his pocket and bit into it. "I've also put a small glamour around us, so he will only see us hard at work. We could walk around completely stalkers if we felt inclined."

Sirius frowned. He remembered James accusing Severus of being a Dark wizard. _He cares too much about the Dark Arts, and Merlin knows we've seen enough of the curses he's invented himself. That's what he's like. He's no good for you._

Severus was now doubled over a box and digging through old folders, his face hidden behind his hair. "I was only kidding about walking around naked, you know." He was speaking very fast and not looking at Sirius at all. "As if I'd ever stoop so low. Not that I have such little faith in my own spell work. It's unflawed, I tell you. I just don't believe in foolish behavior."

Sirius realized that Severus was flustered. "Wha? You mean you don't want to see me strip?" he pouted.

Severus' shoulders hunched a bit more. "No. No I do not. Just as you obviously have no wish to see me degrade myself—"

"You're right. Who'd want to see you naked?"

Severus threw him a genuinely hurt look.

"I mean… a fellow could go blind from witnessing an arse that white. Like direct sunlight on snow, I imagine."

"I am NOT that pale!" Severus growled, but Sirius could see the grin forming in his eyes.

"Really? Cor! Now I've _got_ to see that beauty. C'mere!"

Sirius caught Severus and mock wrestled him in an attempt to relieve the other boy of his trousers. He ended up pinning the Slytherin to the floor, his body crushing the slightly smaller one underneath him. He could feel every contour of Severus' physical form, the hardness of their groins as they pressed against one another. Sirius could taste apple as their lips met in a long, lingering kiss.

There was some sort of loud commotion from the field, all sorts of yelling and booing. Sirius leapt up and sprinted to the window. The players were nowhere to be seen. What was going on?

"You really miss it, don't you?" Severus ran his hands over Sirius' back. "Pay a bit more attention to the way I prepare potions and you're grades will improve and you can get back on your broom. If you only show some initiative to reach your full potential–"

"So now you're having a go at me too? I don't need this!" Sirius snapped.

"You need a swift kick up the ass sometimes! I can't help but notice that every time I try to help you get all defensive."

"I'm not getting defensive! I'm fine! Everything's fine! Fine fine fine!"

"Black, your attitude is giving me a headache. Do me a favor and drop this self-pity act. Did you and your mates have a row?"

Sirius heard a shout and a loud groan from the field. He wondered which team had failed to score. If only he had been there today the game would have been theirs and he would be celebrating with James and the rest of his mates by now.

"Did you tell them?" asked Severus.

"Yeah, I did and it did not go well, as I told you it would. James hasn't spoken one word to me since." He recalled how James had glared at him just before leaving their room that morning, like Sirius was something revolting. It was the same look James, and Sirius supposed himself included, had reserved for Snape at one time. It really wasn't that long ago, though for Sirius it felt like ages. How had everything in his life changed so much so quickly?

Severus sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, Dog. Is it you're being bent or your choice of partners they don't approve of? Since most well educated wizards today are taught to be open minded, I'm guessing it's the later."

Sirius made sure that Slughorn was preoccupied and then brushed his lips against Severus' brow. "I don't give a toss what they think. They don't get it. Idiots even slipped me an antidote for a love potion."

Severus laughed, a bright and strong sound that filled Sirius with joy. "Is that what you thought I was doing in class that day when you accused me of plotting against you?"

"It took me by surprise," Sirius grinned. "The fact that you were _Snivelly Snape_ one moment and then _My Dear Brain_ the next. Deep down I knew I liked blokes, or at least I suspected. I just didn't think my mates would suddenly treat me like a complete stranger."

He thought of Remus and what Peter had said. _He'd probably had stepped aside if you had gone to him earlier, before you started to deceive him. _Now he _was_ deceiving Remus. He'd already lost James, perhaps forever. Was he going to sacrifice Remus too?

He should just get it over with, he told himself. It was like taking a dose of Skele-grow potion; burned like hell on the way down, but it was a necessary pain. Sure Severus would hate him, maybe even curse him. It would certainly end their Potions partnership, but it was not like lifting his ban would do Sirius any good now anyway. And he would get used to life without Severus again. He would.

"Listen, Brain," he started. "There's something I've got to tell you."

Severus was busy rummaging through his rucksack. After a moment he reappeared with a small parcel, scarlet paper with green twine. "I know that your birthday is still days away but you seem to need some cheering up now." He quickly pulled it back out of reach. "You mustn't laugh."

Sirius eagerly tore into it and uncovered a necklace designed to resemble a dog collar. It was large and made from black leather and decorated with silver studs. The material felt smooth and warm in his hand.

"Merlin's skid marked skivvies! This is great!" Sirius exclaimed. "This is probably the best gift anyone's ever given me! I love it! How did you know?"

"What did you expect? A flashy gold chain that says 'my sweetheart?' I could exchange it for you if you like." He chuckled and fitted the collar around Sirius' neck, letting his hands lazily roam over the leather and flesh. "Not to seem rude for cutting you off you, but what were you going to tell me?"

Sirius seized him and kissed him strongly on the mouth. He was a fool to think he could he ever let this boy go. "That I love you. That you're the best thing to come into my life since my subscription to _Quidditch Quarterly_."

"How flattering." Severus lifted Sirius' chin and inspected the way the collar sat just above the muscular boy's collarbone, nestled in the V of his slightly open shirt. Spots of color decorated Severus' cheeks and provoked a deep sigh. "It does suit you. Not surprising since you are more beast than man. Perhaps I should have gotten the leash, too."

"I like where this is going." He reached for Severus, then stopped and pointed his wand at the rafters. "Homenum revelio!"

Severus looked overhead for some sort of reaction. "You expect someone to be hiding in the ceiling?"

"Merely a precaution, against rats. Now, where were we?" Sirius pulled Sirius closer but soon found himself being forcibly shoved backwards.

"Dear, dear, Mr. Black," Severus said in his superior drawl. He pushed the Gryffindor until Sirius' back was pressed against the wall. He looked excited, like a Seeker about to about to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. "You were never taught manners, it seems. You do not interrupt love play for a Quidditch game. Nor should you compare your love for your boyfriend to a bloody sports magazine! It's rude, not to mention very taxing on his ego. Someone really ought to teach you to be more considerate."

Sirius' grinned and feigned worry. "Alas. Who would be willing to teach me such a noble lesson? I am told that I am a poorly student and good tutors are hard to come by."

"Very hard," Severus' voice dropped a notch and Sirius nearly came from that alone. "Nevertheless, a lesson must be learned. For the greater good." He slapped Sirius' hands away and forced them to remain still before kissing and caressing him way down the Gryffindor's body.

"What are you doing?" Sirius gasped hoarsely.

Severus grinned slyly up at him, a new sense of confidence within himself emboldening his features. Sirius was so taken that he leaned forward for another kiss, but was swiftly restrained. Severus was enjoying the sway he held over his lover.

"Dog," Severus whispered, "when will you learn to just shut up?" He slid down to his knees and slowly, with the same maddening discipline he used for everything he did, Severus unbuttoned the trousers and took Sirius into his mouth.

Sirius would never have guessed quiet, reserved Severus capable of such passion. It was a side to the Slytherin that Sirius never knew existed. He did not think that it was possible to love Severus more. He was glad to be proven wrong.

xXx

Sirius returned to the dorm room after dark. The collar was warm and snug under his shirt. He had not seen James or the others in the dinning hall. Also, he couldn't help but notice that the Gryffindor table had been uncommonly quiet. It could only mean that the game had not gone well. The fact that no one even attempted to speak to him only confirmed this theory.

Remus was sitting on the edge of his bed, folding socks into neat little balls. "Sirius, there you are."

"Where've you lads been?" Sirius asked. "How bad was it?"

"James needed a moment after the match," Remus said solemnly. "Exchanged some pretty nasty words with Madame Hootch. He just had to accuse the Hufflepuff Chasers of Haversacking. Can you believe it? Even I could see that it was a false accusation and I was all the way down in the stands. Anyway, James wouldn't give over and Hootch actually had him thrown out of the game."

Sirius fell back onto his bed. "No! Damn that temper of his! Those Hufflepuffs are practically vicars. James must have really been off his head to do something like that. How did the team do without him?"

Remus shook his head. "Hufflepuff won not long after that. It was a disaster. James tried to drown himself in the showers."

"Then it's all over." Sirius wrung his hands through his hair. "The chance for the Cup. Gone."

"It wasn't your fault. Don't go placing blame on yourself, Pad. I've seen you working in Potions class and doing all your detentions without complaint. You're doing everything you can you prove yourself to McGonagall. James will see that too, once he's calmed down a bit. Next year will be better."

"James must want to murder me."

Remus coughed. "He'll come round. It'll take more than something like this to come between us."

"Yeah," Sirius groaned between his fingers and decided to steady himself. "Remy, uh, there's something important I need to tell you. This isn't going to be easy for you to hear, but—"

"Well, there he is."

Both boys turned. James had returned, trailed by a wary-looking Peter. He was still in his uniform and was soaking wet from his drowning attempt.

"Our amazing Chaser," James said in voice heavy with sarcasm. "The Golden Arm of Gryffindor. Have another cozy, little detention while your mates were getting their arses handed to them?"

_Best detention ever_, Sirius thought, but he wasn't about to admit something like that, least of all to James. "I heard about the match, Prongs. Rotten luck."

"Yeah," James replied in a tone that was his and yet was not his. "Sure could have used your help out there today, but I guess we all know where you'd prefer to be."

"James, that's not fair," said Remus. "Sirius was in detention with Slughorn. It's not like he chose to be there."

"Did he now? Is that how it was, Paddy? You didn't want to be scrubbing cauldrons with Snivellous all afternoon? You weren't just dying to clean frog spawn with the greasy haired sod?"

"Easy on, mate," Sirius lowered his voice in warning. "You're just upset about the game."

"Am I? Well, you seem to know everything nowadays. Must be getting smarter from spending all that time with Snape. Fancy that. Y'know, we've seen so little of you lately it's almost like we don't know you at all. The Sirius I knew would have done anything to get back on the team instead of letting everyone down. But nyuuooh! Apparently, this new Sirius has got more important matters at hand. What'cha think about that, Moony, eh? Eh?"

"James, let's talk about this in private if you're so angry at me." He attempted to put his hand on his friend's shoulder.

James' slapped him off. "No. I think I'd like to talk about it here. I mean, it's not like we keep secrets from our mates, right, Paddy? That would be just awful."

"You've been drinking!"

"So what?" James tightened his face. "Peter snuck a bottle of Sherry from the kitchens. Meant to be for the victory party. Still got use for it, anyway."

"Let's talk, James." Sirius again tried to take his friend by the arm. "Alone. Not like this."

"Get your filthy, queer hand off of me!" James shoved Sirius away. "It's like I don't even know you anymore! There's this _thing_ standing where my best friend used to be. This pathetic, whipped thing that likes crawling on the ground for some Slytherin asshole."

"That's enough!" Sirius yelled. "Quit acting like a berk."

"Let me ask you, did you even try to get out of you ban, or were you too busy amusing yourself with your whore?"

Before his brain could comprehend a rational alternative, Sirius punched James in the face as hard as he could. "Don't you ever call him that again!" he shouted over the heap of red and yellow robes.

"What's going on?" Remus said. "Why are you fighting? You're friends."

"Friends, eh?" James spat blood on Sirius' trainers. "Maybe you'd like to know that your so-called friend has been snogging your favorite pet snake."

Sirius froze. Remus tried to smile it off but could not. "What? You're having a go at me. Sirius?"

James continued. "Wormtail saw them going at it like weasels in the Potions lab. And it's been going on for almost two months now! How's that for the true friendship, eh Pad, old pal?"

"Merlin, it can't be true?" Remus stared at Sirius. All the color had drained away from his face. "Did you really kiss my sweet Severus?"

"I didn't intend for it to happen. Honest," Sirius said, palms up in surrender.

James scoffed. "So you just tripped and happen to fall on his lips? A hundred times?"

"Shut up, James!" Sirius shouted. "Why'd you have to open your big mouth?"

"Why did _you_ have to kiss _my_ boyfriend?" Remus snapped.

"Severus is not _your_ boyfriend!" Sirius threw back.

"He was going to be! But you swooped in and stole him! Like a… a big… swooping thing!"

"I didn't steal him! He made up his own mind." Friend or not, Sirius was beginning to get peeved.

"Oh, and I'm sure you weren't slathering on the charm and flexing your biceps in his face every chance you got. How could you do this? You said you were helping me!"

"I was! It started out that way. Then… then things changed."

"You knew I liked him!"

"Well, I started to like him, too."

"I liked him first! So, that change with his appearance. That was all your idea, eh?"

"No. Sorta. I just mentioned his hair could use improving and how brilliant he was at potions and—"

"And you made him change himself for your high standards."

"What? No. It didn't happen like that."

"Some friend you turned out to be!" Remus eyes were dilated and the color of amber. "This was your plan all along! The worst part is you lied to my face about it! After all those talks we had. I bared my soul to you and you turn around and steal my Severus? All those times you said you were talking to him for me, and you were just making sport for yourself. We're you both laughing at me all along?"

"No! He doesn't know a thing about it. It wasn't his idea."

"I liked him even when he had messy hair and was unpopular. You called him Snivellous and threw hexes at him in the hallways! Since when did you even like him?"

"It… it came on so gradually. We started talking and I got to know him better."

"I'll bet you did," Remus said with a nasty undertone. "I thought James was just being crass in the Three Broomsticks, but now I'm wondering if there was some truth in it. So, is it? You two play bitch and hound yet? You get him to bury your bone like a good doggie?"

"Don't you dare talk about Sev like that! He's not that kind of man!" Sirius jabbed him with a finger.

"Uh… excuse me…" Peter said very weakly. "James, shouldn't you, ah, do something?"

Remus shoved Sirius back. "He was _my_ man! You don't deserve him! A big, dumb meathead like you!"

"Maybe you should have done something yourself instead of sending in someone else like a pathetic loser!" Sirius pushed Remus again, harder.

"Uh, fellas?" James stepped in this time. The smugness on his face was now replaced with concern. "Maybe you both should back up a bit."

"You think I'm afraid of you?" Remus bellowed. "You'd have been thrown out of this place years ago if I hadn't let you cheat off of me! Then your parents would cut you off and you wouldn't be able to buy men like Severus Snape for your personal play things!"

"Shut up! He never even noticed you unless you set yourself on fire or had fainting spells!"

"At least I could have an intelligent conversation with him. One that didn't require a picture book and crayons! How he must pity you for being so stupid."

"You think you have more to offer?" Sirius spat, no longer caring what he was saying. He only wanted to hurt. "You grow fur and fangs! You're poisonous! What kind of future could you give anyone?"

Remus made an inhuman snarl in his throat and left for Sirius. The sudden movement knocked Sirius off his feet and sent him crashing into the table. Remus was stronger than a boy his size should normally be. His hands wrapped around Sirius' throat.

"What's this?" Remus' newly elongated claws tore the collar as if it were made of butter. He sniffed the leather. "_He_ gave you this, didn't he? Did you get him to fall in love with you? You lying traitor!" The wolf squeezed the collar so tightly ribbons of blood began to spill from his hand.

"Give that back!" Sirius shouted and pointed his wand at the other boy. "Give it back or I'll curse you into something worse than you already are!"

"What's going on here?" Professor McGonagall stormed in wearing her long nightgown and evening cloak. There are students trying to sleep and they said that it sounds like a war going on in this room. Black! Are you roughhousing again? After that last warning I gave you? Do you want to be in detention until the end of the school year?"

All four boys settled down, their dispute temporarily forgotten.

"This isn't over," Remus hissed. He dropped the remains of the collar at Sirius' feet, the black and red looked like angry scars.

xXx

A/N: According to _Quidditch: Through the Ages_ by Kennilworthy Whisp, Haversacking is a common foul by Chasers that states: "the hand is still on the Quaffle as it goes through the hoop (Quaffle must be thrown)."

The _Homenum revelio _spell "reveals human presence in the target area." (HP Lexicon)

Just a warning. Things will start to get darker from now this point on. For all the Remus fans out there, he will start to even out the playing field real soon.


	10. Bedside Manners and Secrets Revealed

A/N: Sorry about the wait. It's been far too long between chapters. So without further ado...

Warning: As I said last time, things will start to get darker now (sorry boys), emotionally and physically. Beware of scorned werewolves.

xXx

Chapter 10: Bedside Manners and Secrets Revealed

xXx

The next day, Sirius walked into the library and found Severus sitting at their usual table, but this time he wasn't alone. Remus was sitting next to him. They were both leaning very close to one another, their heads nearly touching.

"Oi," Sirius said as calmly as he could. "What's all this then?"

"Hey, Sirius," Remus said in a forced cheerful tone. "I came to take out a book for my Arithmancy class and what a coincidence it was! Seems that Severus needs to read the same one. So, we decided to read it together, see who can get through it first. Loser buys the winner a drink at Hogsmeade this weekend."

Sirius scowled at him. "You're sitting a tad close for such a big book."

"The print is miniscule, and it's written in an ancient text that is very difficult to learn," Severus said. "I thought I was the only student at this school who was fluent in it."

"Yeah," Remus said rather smugly. "Turns out Severus and I have a lot more in common than either of us knew. We're both intrigued by the study of the Dark Arts and Magical Theory. Plus we're both already learning at a seventh year level. He's agreed to help me study for our O.W.L.'s."

"You're already good at Defense Against the Dark Arts," Sirius scowled.

"Not as good as Severus." Remus practically batted his eyelashes. "And I want to ace my tests so I thought a little extra incentive might give me the edge I need. I feel it's productive to discuss lessons with someone who truly understands them, inside and out."

"It is refreshing to get a second opinion of one's ideas," Severus said. "But I am still going to get the top spot for final exams."

Remus grinned. "We'll see. This year you may be surprised, by many things."

"Perhaps you'll do well, Moony," said Sirius, "if there's a section on cosmetology."

"Well, should your grades slide, you could always rely on your place on the Quidditch team. Opps! Dear me. Sorry, Pad, I forgot."

"Snape," Sirius hissed at the dark haired boy. "I thought we had a lesson."

"Not for another half hour," Severus answered. "Lupin is very good at translating. Did you know that he found a passage in here that I had no idea existed?"

"Give over," Remus playfully cuffed Severus' shoulder. "I suppose it helps when one actually studies hard all the time instead of relying on last-minute luck, or his friends to cover for him. I try to get the lads to study for the exams all the time, but they'd prefer wasting the evenings at Exploding Snap or reading the latest Quidditch magazine."

Severus gave a slight shake of his head. "After all, the O.W.L.'s will be here before we realize and…. Is that… your hand on my knee?"

Remus blushed and sat back. "Oh, was that you? I thought it was my knee. My mistake. Maybe. Did you like it? Pure accident. Are you finished with this passage? Shall I turn the page?" He said all this in one breath.

"Snape!" Sirius threw his palms down on the table and leaned forward to stare into the ink black eyes. "I'd really like to get to that lesson, right now. I am paying for them, after all."

"Oh, well then", Remus said. "I guess you'd better drop all and do what he says. Sirius is the one with the gold, after all. Masters like their servants to come when they are called."

"I don't own him!" Sirius barked.

"Funny, you're making it sound like you do."

"Is everything all right?" Severus asked, looking from one Gryffindor to the other.

"Snape. I need to talk to you about something." Sirius did not wait but dragged the Slytherin by the sleeve into one of the unoccupied stalls. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Talking with your friend," said Severus. "I don't think he's said quite this much to me in one afternoon than in the past five years."

"You're getting awfully chummy with him."

"We were just talking. Lupin seems decent enough, still a bit thin and pale. Are you two fighting as well? I've never seen you at someone's throat like that."

"That's none of your business. I don't want you getting involved."

"I'm sorry, but I hate seeing you this upset all the time."

"You shouldn't be around him. For your own safety."

"Why? I thought you said he wasn't contagious."

"He's… dangerous."

Severus snorted. "Lupin? He looks like a stiff wind could do him in."

"Listen to me. He's not safe to be around. I forbid you from talking to him!"

"You forbid me?" Severus sneered. "Why don't you just banish me to the swamplands while you're at it, oh mighty Mugwamp? Unless you just don't want me talking with your friends? Afraid I might embarrass you? Or is it something more?"

"You're gonna have to trust me on this one. I mean it."

Severus narrowed his eyes. "Where's the necklace I gave you? You said you'd never take it off."

Before Sirius could answer, a noise caught both of their attentions. They peered around the edge of the bookshelf to find a small crowd gathering around the slumped form of Remus.

Severus and Sirius ran back to the table. Remus was awake but hunched over and trembling like a leaf.

"Merlin's beard!" said Severus. "What happened?"

"Dunno," said a blond girl with pigtails. "One minute he was fine and the next he let's out this moan and just fell over."

"'M alright," Remus said feebly. His face was pinched in pain, beads of sweat poured down his forehead. "Jes fell 's all."

"You need to get to the hospital wing, Remus," said Severus. "Can you stand? Sirius, help me."

"He's fine," Sirius said blankly. "It's all an act."

Severus shot him a scandalized look. "He's gone pale as a ghost and is convulsing. Nobody's that good an actor."

"He's faking it. Believe me, I know what he's up to. Give it a rest, Remy. No one's buying it."

"Black! Help me!" Severus shouted and lifted Remus' arm over his shoulder. The fair boy's legs wobbled dangerously, then buckled under him, nearly pulling Severus down as well.

Sirius cursed and hoisted Remus between the two of them. His friend's head bobbed up and down like a rag doll every time they took a step.

"Don't worry, Remus," Severus said gently. "Everything's going to be okay. Just hang on to me."

Sirius cursed under his breath. The wolf was better at this than he thought.

xXx

Severus went to visit Remus in the hospital wing. "I brought you your Arithmancy homework. It's difficult but I think you'll manage. And some fresh lavender. It helps with swooning fits."

"Thank you, Severus." Remus sat up a big straighter in his bed, his heart beat like a locomotive under his nightshirt. Why did he have to leave his guy-compact in his dorm? He must look a fright judging by the way Severus was starring at him. Why did it have to be a full moon that night? "Sorry about my behavior before. I was a little distracted."

"I could tell."

"No, honestly. After all that acid spitting, what must you think of me? Such conduct is inexcusable."

Severus set aside his bag and sat down in a chair. "What's happened between you and Black, if I might ask? Not just you, but with all your friends. The four of you used to be inseparable. Is it true that you have rejected him because he prefers men?"

"Certainly not." Just his _choice_ of men, Remus thought to himself. "Well, it was quite a shock for us when he admitted it. I had my suspicions but I thought he was far too prideful to ever admit to declare that part of himself existed."

Severus looked downcast. "Then it _is_ because of me."

Remus' expression changed and a weight dropped into his gut. "What– what do you know about it?"

"I know that you four are quarreling when you never did before. I know that Slytherins and Gryffindors have been common enemies since this school was founded. I know that Black and Potter have bullied me, disliked me, for nearly my entire stay at Hogwarts, but now Black's attitude seems completely reformed. He has changed towards me in such a way that sometimes I'm not sure what to make of it." He turned his head slightly to hide the blush. "Now I must seem a fool to you."

"Oh no," Remus leaned forward. "That's impossible. I mean, you do not seem foolish at all to me. And you are not at the cause of the dispute at all. Sirius, well, he's kept too many secrets. But… beg pardon, it might not be my place to say, but are you sure of his intentions? As you said, Sirius has been your tormentor, and he is known for his impetuous nature."

Severus said nothing but his features hardened. "He… has been much altered these past months. If I had met him today I would never have recognized him."

"That is true. He is altered. No doubt he holds you in high regard. He defends you openly in front of James. And surely he is reassured of your affection."

"I gave him a gift, a necklace, for his birthday. Did you chance see it?"

"I did. He did not take care of it though, I'm afraid." Severus began to stand. Remus' hand flew out to catch hold of his. "Forgive me, Severus! I do not say these things to cause harm. I only mean to put you on your guard."

Severus stared at the other boy. "I thought this was your friend we were talking about. It surprises me to hear you speak so coldly about one who was like a brother to you. He is always talking of you so favorably. How smart and funny you are. Something has been plaguing him. Every time I offer to help he gets so upset and lashes out at me and I don't understand why. I'm not sure how to talk to him at times. How do I make things good again?"

Remus held Severus' hand tighter. His fingers gripped with a surprising amount of strength for a boy who had fainted hours ago. "Are you sure this is what you want? I'm sure that he cares for you, but he didn't have the decency to tell me about it. If he truly did care he would have told _me_."

Severus grew cautious of the other boy's agitation. "We… we wanted to keep it private for the moment, until—"

"Until when?" Remus' tone was closer to anger now. "Until he felt you were worthy of mention? Or was he going to keep you his secret and then discard you like dust under a rug?"

Severus tried to stand but was pulled roughly back in place. "Stop!" Remus exclaimed. "I mean, you and him together… it just doesn't make sense. Are you sure that he loves you? Tell me!"

"Lupin, you're hurting me!" The Slytherin pulled his arm free and jumped to his feet. Half-moon imprints marred the pale skin on his wrist.

Remus looked scandalized. He knew he could have hurt Severus if he had held on any longer. He wanted to reach out again and hold Severus. Crush Severus' bones against his own. Feel the pulse flutter under his hands. Smell… he could _smell_ the other boy's scent and was painfully aware at how close Severus' neck was to him.

"I appreciate your honesty," Severus said in a low voice.

Remus stared at Severus until it grew painful and tears threatened to spill. "Thank you for your help and for the assignment. I am tired now." He turned his eyes into his pillow.

"I'll leave you to rest then. Shall I see you in class tomorrow?"

Remus shrugged but did not look up again until he could no longer hear Severus' footsteps. He took the sprig of lavender from the table and inhaled deeply. He kissed the blossom before crushing it into powder.

xXx

The moment Severus exited the hospital wing he found himself seized and dragged into an empty corridor.

"Just what do you think you were doing?" demanded Sirius. His gray eyes were wide and fierce.

"I went to visit Lupin," Severus answered. He rubbed his arm where Sirius' fingers had left their mark. "I brought him his homework as the Professor requested me to do. I'll thank you not to man handle me in the future for it."

Sirius paced back and forth, obviously in a state of nervous worry. "What did he say to you?"

"He is not your biggest fan at the moment. He assures it is not my presence that has caused this rift but somehow I find that account lacking."

"I don't trust him around you."

"Rather seems you don't trust me." Severus folded his arms, his long, pale fingers tapped impatiently on his upper arms. "I'm not stupid, you know. Didn't you think I'd work it out, about Lupin?"

Sirius swallowed.

"I didn't get it at first, he's been so cryptic, but it's obvious now that he has an erumpent-sized crush on me." Severus grinned but not in his typically malicious way. "I had no idea all that twitching was his method of flirting. I thought he had fire-crabs down below."

"Oh really?" Sirius fumed. "And you seem to be lapping it all up."

"Why is it that every time you get in a mood your intelligence drops ten points? I'm with _you_."

"Remus fancies you. He's smarter than me."

"And I'm smarter than the both of you. As if that matters. I'm still with you." Sirius scoffed and Severus glared at him. "You know what I think? I think you're keeping something from me again. Dog, I've never been in a relationship before. If I've said or done something to offend then tell me."

"It's nothing to do with you."

"Then it's something you feel you cannot share with me. You're not wearing the collar, I notice. I thought you said you liked it."

"I did. I do. It… got damaged. Torn."

"How?"

"Had a… an accident. Been trying to fix it but I think there's a curse on it. The leather won't seal itself."

Severus' sneer could freeze water in July. "I am a practical man and I do not tolerate false flattery. You could have just said that it was not to your taste."

"I'm telling you the truth."

"Are you? Do you know how difficult it was for me to allow myself to trust you? What we did the other afternoon meant a great deal for me. The thought that this is all just an amusement for you is more than I can bear. Have you told Potter that he was correct in his assumption but not in his timing? Are you all laughing at me in private? Have you any idea how that makes me feel? That I am a standing Gryffindor joke? Black's Slyther-whore!"

"It is nothing like that. I love you!" Sirius caught him in a desperate embrace. He wanted himself even closer to Severus, to break through that wall the Slytherin kept around himself out of his insecurity and shyness. "You can't be alone with Remus again."

Severus tried to push the other boy away. "Let me go. You don't want me in your life. Lupin says that you and I don't make sense together. I want to go."

Sirius inwardly growled, stung by Remus' cutting remark and by the obvious distress it was causing Severus. "I'm trying to tell you, Remus is more dangerous than you think! You don't understand the danger you're in. Come with me tonight after curfew when the full moon rises. Remus goes to the Shrieking Shack. There's a tunnel under the Whomping Willow. Press this knob with a branch and the tree goes still. Go with me and I'll show you why you can't get involved with Remus Lupin."

xXx

Sirius ran over the down as fast as he could. The moon was already up. His only thought was to get to the Whomping Willow. He hadn't counted on Professor McGonagall confronting him after supper, nor had he been prepared for her to assign him extra detention for what she thought had been misconduct the previous night. He had spent the entire evening cleaning out the Thestrals stable with Haggrid, without being permitted to send so much as a note to Severus, or even James to warn them.

What had he been thinking? He had all put given Severus access to Moony's hidey-hole. He'd exposed his best friend's secret, without properly explaining the circumstances to Severus first. What if Severus reacted badly to the revelation? What if he told Dumbledore? What if he told someone else and it got out? It was not just Moony's "hairy little problem" Sirius had put at risk, but his friends and himself for being unregistered Animaguses.

Sirius could detect movement up ahead and caught whiff of something warm and metallic in the air. Blood.

He ran faster. The blurred images changed into two men supporting a third in-between them; the man in the center unwilling or unable to walk on his own strength.

"Severus!" Sirius launched forward in time to catch the boy as his legs gave out. The Slytherin was paler than usual. His face and chest bore signs of a battle and he was bleeding profoundly from a wound in his neck.

"Dog…" Severus said weakly, eyelids fluttering to remain open. "Stay… away from me…." His head slumped forward and he went still.

"Thank Merlin… you are here, Pad!" Peter gasped, his fat face pink and drenched with what looked like sweat, and blood. James looked no better, though neither of them seemed injured.

"You'd… better hurry… and get help!" said Peter and he pointed back in the direction of the Shrieking Shack. "I-I think Snape's killed Remus!"


	11. We Are Broken

Sorry it's been so long since I left you with that wicked cliffhanger. I'd want to kick my ass too. So here's a nice long chapter to make up for it.

Thanks to everyone for your reviews and for asking me for updates. The title of this chapter is a Paramore song.

xXx

Chapter 11: We Are Broken

xXx

Sirius wasn't allowed into the Hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey had shoed him away, claiming that there already were too many people in her care. It didn't take long for Sirius to cast a Summoning spell on James' invisibility cloak. As a Marauder, this wasn't the first time he'd snuck in to see his sick friend after curfew.

Remus was lying on a bed, pale as a ghost and covered with bandages. If not for the slight rise and fall of his chest, Sirius would have thought his friend was….

"I suppose I owe you my life, Potter." Severus' deep voice was low with humiliation. He lay in an adjourning bed to Remus. He looked haggard and weak, and his neck was wrapped tightly to conceal a wound. "A Wizard's Debt. You too, Pettigrew, as it were. I have little choice in the matter." He sounded like it was costing him everything to show gratitude to his worst enemies.

"Oh, well," said Peter, looking rather pleased with himself. "It was scary, wasn't it? Nothing James and I couldn't handle though."

"Stuff it, Wormtail," James growled then turned to Severus. "You don't owe us anything."

"But, you heard him. He wants to—" Peter looked like he just had a big slice of chocolate cake pulled out of his greedy, little hands.

James shot him a withering look. "We wouldn't have had to save anyone if you hadn't been wandering around where you didn't belong, Snape! What the hell were you doing there? Always have to stick your overlarge nose into our business! What were you trying to do? Spy on us? Get the dirt on our secret activities so you could go running to Dumbeldore and get us expelled once and for all? First you take Black away from us and now you nearly slaughter Lupin? Why couldn't you stay the hell away? Slytherin!"

Severus matched James' fury. "I didn't do it for any of those reasons! Black told me he'd meet me there. Told me how to get past the Willow."

James laughed bitterly. "Now that is a lie! He'd never do such a thing."

Sirius stepped out from under the cloak. "It's true, James."

Severus scowled and turned his head to the wall. James just stared at Sirius like he'd never seen his friend before.

"You… you told him about the passageway? You were going to show him Moony's secret? _Our_ secret?"

"Yes. I had to." He went over to Severus and tried to take the pale hand into his own. "Brain, I—" Severus would not look Sirius' way and withdrew to a safe distance. The Gryffindor felt as if he had been struck across the face.

"Had to?" James said. "Had to risk Moony to the exposure and contempt of the wizarding world? And what about us? All the rules we've broken, even if it was to help our friend? The Ministry would expel us and this little snake would be more than happy to put our heads on the chopping block!"

"I knew he wouldn't do that!" Sirius said. "I didn't want to show him everything, just Moony. I wanted him to see why Remus was so dangerous."

"And why why _WHY_ would you want to do that?!"

"An answer I am quite interested in hearing myself."

The boys all looked up to see the grave face of Albus Dumbledore. Professors McGonagall and Slughorn, both looking angry and concerned, stood a little behind him. Sirius felt as if he had fallen through the ice of the lake.

"You!" Madame Pomfrey shouted and pointed a boney finger at Sirius. "I thought I ordered you out of here, Mr. Black! Insubordination! No wonder the students are running wild. Sneaking out of school grounds in the middle of the night. Throwing all manors of hexes at one another for sport. Out you go now! All of you who are not staff, out. My patients need their rest."

"A moment, if you will, Poppy," said the Headmaster. "I wish to know the events which transpired this evening and why they occurred."

The three Marauders all looked fearful. Severus remained silent.

"It was all my fault, sir," Sirius admitted at last.

Dumbledore raised a bushy eyebrow. "Indeed?"

"Yes, sir. I told Severus to meet me tonight, and how he could get past the Whomping Willow. I was going to take him into the Shrieking Shack so he could see Remus after he transformed."

"Say no more, young Master Black," said Slughorn. "An admirable sentiment, I am sure. Trying to cover for your fellow student, as a noble Black would. But the time for heroics has past and this rascal must answer for his own crime."

"I'm being honest!" Sirius insisted. "Only I didn't count on Professor McGonagall giving me extra detention tonight and I couldn't get word to Severus in time. I never thought that he'd go through the passageway alone."

"Ah-ha, so you admit that Mr. Snape was out of bounds after hours. And his record is against him. Fighting in class, lashing out at other students, and now he very near brought serious injury to Mr. Potter, too. Oh, what would Lord Potter say if his only son had been savaged by that foul beast?"

"So, it's all right if Snape and Pettigrew got hurt, is it?" Sirius barked. "Because they don't have their own vaults at Gringotts? You pompous piece of sh—"

"Shush," Dumbeldore said and the room fell silent as if he had used a Sonorous charm. "Why did you feel the need to bring Mr. Snape in on your secret, Mr. Black?"

"I daresay I blame myself for that, Headmaster," said Slughorn. "I partnered the lads up in my class, in hopes that the students would improve their inter-house bonds. I can see now what a mistake that was. Some students can never see past their differences."

Dumbledore acted as if he hadn't heard and continued to stare at Sirius.

"I-I wanted to warn him, sir," Sirius moaned. "Brain, I mean, Severus and I…well, the truth is we've been going together not long after term started." Slughorn nearly chocked on something and turned very red, McGonagall made a small noise of surprise. Dumbledore merely nodded. "But Remus was interested in Severus too, and I was afraid that Remus would, that Sev would… leave me."

"So you thought it wise to show Mr. Snape why Mr. Lupin was a poor choice of companions?"

The truth hurt, but there was no way to sugarcoat it. "I didn't want to lose him! I thought if we had both gone in together I could show him. I never thought this would happen. We've gone into the Shack with Remus every time he had his _time of the month_ and he's never attacked any of us."

"We've always been in our animagus forms around him when he transforms, mate," said James. "You weren't there when Snape wandered in. Moony went wild! Tore past us and went straight for Snape. Peter and I tired to distract him, give Snape a chance to run, but Moony…. He was just so strong. He got a hold of Snape and then got all quiet like, sniffing him and all. For a moment we thought it was going to be okay. Then… then Remus just tore into Snape! Thought he was gonna tear his throat out. But Remy's never done anything like this before, and he wouldn't have done so if Snape hadn't been there in the first place! Honest, Professor. He's normally very gentle when we're with him. Snape must have provoked him!"

"So," said Dumbledore calmly, regarding the boys over his half moon spectacles. "Mr. Lupin in his transformed state attacked Mr. Snape. And then what happened?"

"I managed to jar Moony by ramming him with my horns. I, uh, my animagus form is a stag, you see. Snape got free for a second and hit Moony with a curse. Terrible thing, too! All these cuts opened up all over Remus' body and there was blood everywhere. Peter and I transformed back into ourselves and dragged Snape away from the Shack to find help. I don't know what he used but I'll bet my broom that it was Dark magic! Moony almost bled to death and none of Madame Pomfrey's Healing spells did any good."

"Mr. Snape?" Dumbeldore turned to the injured boy. "Did things proceed as Mr. Potter has described them?" A nod was Severus' only response. "And the spell that you used? Where did you learn such a curse?"

Severus still would not look at anyone. "I invented it."

"A particularly gruesome bit of power for a fifteen year old to be experimenting with. For what purpose did you invent it, might I ask?"

The Slytherin shrugged. "In case my life was in danger. I've had to deal with bullying all of my life." He flashed a dangerous glower at James and then at Sirius. "It was just a theory. I've never tested it on a living thing before."

"And yet you invented a counter-curse for it, as well. Madame Pomfrey informed me that once you regained consciousness, you re-entered the Shrieking Shack to cure Mr. Lupin's injuries."

Another shrug. "The spell would keep the wounds from sealing until there was no blood left in his body, and only I knew how to stop it. I didn't want a spell of mine to send me to Azkaban."

"Shocking!" Slughorn shook his head. "And most unfortunate. Another Slytherin wizard lost to the lure of the Dark Arts, I'm afraid. Not so unexpected, considering his background."

"Honestly!" McGonagall rounded on Slughorn and the fat man actually blanched. "You have just heard that three Gryffindors are unregistered animaguses, and they have been sneaking out of school grounds every month for the past five years. Besides, I believe there is a bi-law clearly stating that Dark magic may be used for defense under dire circumstances."

"I agree with Minerva," said Dumbledore. "Although it was a forbidden curse Snape used, it was not cast lightly, but in fear for his very survival. And he did prevent Mr. Lupin's death."

Severus dug one finger under the edge of his bandages.

Madame Pomfrey stepped forward. "Is that injury troubling you again, Mr. Snape? Shall I change the dressing?"

He leapt away from her as if fearing an assassination attempt. The school nurse withdrew slowly. "I'll check on you later then, shall I?" She led Professor Dumbledore a bit to the side so no one else could hear. "Poor lad. It's as we always feared, Albus."

"Has he been bitten?" Dumbeldore asked. His face was ashen.

"I'm afraid so. A rather nasty one, too, though not deep enough to kill. He will be scarred."

"Scarred is the least of his worries, my dear woman," Professor Slughorn said, not bothering to guard his voice. "The very least. It was only a matter of time, after all, Dumbledore. Keeping a… boy like Lupin with such a condition within a school. I'm only surprised that it did not happen sooner. Alas, no help for it now. They both should be removed immediately."

"Really, Horace," Professor McGonagall said. "That is hardly sympathetic."

"Minerva, we are on the edge of a blunder most egregious! The reputation of the school itself is at great risk. What parent will want his child to attend a school where they at risk of just such a tragedy? No, I fear the only solution would be to send the infected boys to a proper institute where they can receive the rest of their education without further risk to themselves or to others."

"That will do, Horace," said Dumbledore."

"I am only thinking of avoiding a scandal, Dumbledore. Surely you must see where this will all lead. Perhaps a bit of gold could be produced for the boys' families. The less fortunate are easily placated, and with far less coin than you may think. This could all easily be forgotten. If you would permit me to do the talking when the parents are informed."

"You cannot tell my mother!" Severus shouted so loudly that everyone in the room gasped.

Dumbledore returned to the boy's bedside. "Severus, if you will just remain calm—"

"You cannot tell my mother, sir!" Severus repeated. His dark eyes were large and full of fear. "You know her condition. She is ill. This will be too much for her to endure. They'll put her back in that terrible place. I won't say anything! I'll keep silent about the whole affair."

"But, Severus," Dumbledore said in a soothing way. "This has been a terrible situation, and although you are not solely innocent of blame, I cannot overlook it."

"Expel me if you must." Severus sat up straight in his cot. His hands shook and he had the appearance of a man on the verge of madness. "I was out of my common room after curfew. I broke school rules. I'll not say a word about your precious Gryffindors, and no one will care if a Slytherin without a knutt in his pocket is sent home. Keep Hogwarts' reputation clean, as you will, only do not tell my mother. It will kill her!"

"Severus, please calm down, I beg you." Dumbledore raised a gentle hand for peace. "No one is going to be expelled, and no one is going to tell Mrs. Snape, if that is your wish."

The boy did not appear to believe it. Neither did Slughorn.

"Honestly, Dumbledore," said the Potions Master. "I'd take him up on his offer. You see that he is willing." He was silenced immediately by Dumbledore's glare.

"That will do. Now, Severus, I am well aware of your mother's frail health and believe me I would not wish to risk it for anything. But we cannot ignore the circumstances here. Mr. Lupin was not in his right mind when he attacked you, you must understand."

Severus scoffed. "I don't blame the beast. I blame Black! But I won't press charges against either of them. The Blacks are a powerful family; they'll want to know why he was expelled. They'll ask questions." Severus' frown became more pronounced and he was shaking all over now.

The Headmaster cleared his throat. "That is admirable of you. Unfortunately, there is the other issue. I am very sorry for what has befallen you, Severus, and for what you will be forced to endure from this point on. We can help you deal with the curse."

Severus flinched as if to cast off an annoying insect. "I do not intend to deal with it. I intend to cure it. I just need time." He started to get to his feet. "My note book. I need to get back to work."

"You'll do no such thing!" Madame Pomfrey placed a hand on Snape's chest and pushed him back onto the bed. He reacted as if the touch had burned his skin. "You shall remain here until I deem you are fit to leave. Now stay. Stay! And drink this. You shall take Blood Replenishing Potion every hour from this point on." She thrust a glass into his hand.

Severus swallowed the foul stuff without a word. He glanced over at the unconscious figure. "What about him?"

"He's also being fed the potion and is stable at the moment. We'll see the effects once he is awake. He'll be happy to know that you showed so much concern."

"Concern?" Severus scowled. "A dead test subject is of no use to me. I need him alive, for now. Otherwise I do not care what the beast does."

He sounded so much like a heartless Slytherin that Sirius wanted to weep.

"Severus," Sirius began carefully. "I didn't think that—"

"I knew you would do this!" Severus bellowed and hurled the glass at Sirius' head. Sirius ducked just in time. "I knew you would hurt me! This was your plan from the very beginning! To lure me in just so you could humiliate me in front of your friends! Stay away from me! I never want to see you again!"

"Severus." Again Sirius tried to reach out but was shoved back.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! I am poisoned! You and your monster poisoned me! Stay away!"

"Come now, lads," Dumbledore said and gently ushered Sirius from the bedside. "As Madame Pomfrey has said, her patients need their rest."

Once out of the room Sirius fell to his knees and began sobbing uncontrollably. He would have been sick if there had been anything in his stomach, instead he dry heaved until even breathing became painful. A light touch upon his shoulder made him glance up. The headmaster kindly offered him a pocketchief.

"I didn't mean for any of it to happen, sir," he said. "I was so mad at Remus, and James and I haven't been getting on for weeks now and Severus was losing faith in me. I just didn't know what else to do."

"Calm yourself, my boy. I do not have to point out that your behavior tonight has been both reckless and possesive."

"I've never been in love before! I was afraid he'd stop loving me. You wouldn't understand, sir."

Dumbledore's ice blue eyes softened. "Believe it or not, I understand you better than you suppose. Love may be the most powerful weapon in the world, my boy, but it is a doubled-edged sword. It has been the root of obsessions, terrible betrayals, and misery without end. Love has destroyed more people than war, but it does not stop us from desiring it. A word of advice from an old duffer who has been in your shoes. Love cannot be held with the fist. It must be caught with an open hand."

Sirius blew his nose. "That doesn't make any sense, sir."

"I didn't think so at your age either and that caused me to make terrible decisions. Your friend is going to be going through the worst ordeal of his life. He will need support, as you supported Mr. Lupin all these years. If you truly care for him, then you will not abandon him."

"He never wants to see me again." Sirius felt fresh tears well up. "He hates me."

"That is part of love's power. Remember, the secret to true love is not joy, but endurance."

xXx

Things had all gone wrong from there. James flat out refused to speak to Sirius anymore, ever since McGonagall had also given him detention and a suspension from the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Peter, simpering sycophant that he was, followed suite, leaving Sirius quite isolated.

But worse of all was the change in Severus. He did not attend meals in the Great Hall any more. When he showed up for class, Sirius could scarcely recognize the boy. Severus looked even paler than usual. His shoulders were hunched with tension and there were heavy, purple circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. He trembled when he sat still for too long and his hands shook when he was not writing endlessly in his notebook. And his hair—Sirius could have wept aloud—his hair had reverted back to it's former greasy tangle, only now it looked like Severus no longer cared to wash it at all. Even though it was nearing the beginning of April and there was a definite rise in temperature, he always wore his Slytherin colored scarf, indoors or out, wrapped tight around his neck.

His moods were quite frightening. He would be quiet and sulky all day but then savagely lash out at anyone who dared get too close. First years were positively terrified of running into "that awful boy" in the corridors. Not even sweet Lily, his very best and dearest friend, was allowed no more than two words before he scolded her openly in the library and she fled in tears. He watched her go and looked ready to run after her. Then he saw Sirius looking his way, scowled and returned to taking notes from his books. His fingers were black from ink and there were stains on his robes.

"Pity." Sirius overheard Dunstran Diggory whisper to one of his Ravenclaw mates. "He had potential, but he's gone and wasted it all. Wasted away like a plant kept too long in the dark."

Sirius resisted the urge to walk up to pretty-boy Diggory and punch him straight in his perfect nose. If he only knew what Severus was going through, how much he was suffering, but then he could not know. He must not know. That was the whole point, and Sirius was determined not to louse things up any further than he already had. Sirius knew that Severus was watching the calendar with the same dread that Remus must experience every month. He seemed convinced that the answer lay somewhere buried within the library and he was running out of time. Dumbeldore had even granted Severus permission to explore the Restricted Section. Severus felt this was small compensation for being mauled by a fellow student who was secretly a werewolf, but like a true Slytherin he accepted the bribe and with very little complaint, too.

It was hard to believe that less than a fortnight ago he and Severus had sat at that very spot, going over calculations while playing footsie under the table. Sirius longed to go to him, to shake some sense into him, to tell him that it didn't matter what he was. It didn't matter, or at least he told himself so, now. Would he still feel the same way when the full moon appeared and the beast would howl and tear it's way loose from Severus until it had consumed the boy utterly? Sure it didn't matter that Remus had his_ hairy little problem_. It was always a whispered joke in their common room. He didn't love Remus any less just because he was a monster three times a month.

But would it be different with Severus? Would he want that in a lover? Would he be willing to build a life around that? Dumbledore said that the secret to love was not joy but endurance. What in the name of Merlin's blessed cock ring mean? What was it that he was supposed to endure anyway when Severus wouldn't speak to him?

It was the first time he had spent his birthday without his mates, without even a gesture or a kind wish. He recalled that wonderful afternoon by the beach tree with Severus, his dear Brain, offering him, Sirius, the best and most delicious birthday gift he could ever want.

Small chance of that ever happening now, he groaned to himself. He did not even have any more detentions in Potions to look forward too. Even if he did, he was sure than they would no longer be as pleasurable. Sirius wandered back into the Gryffindor tower, hardly aware of anyone until he spotted a top of sandy-brown hair.

"Remus!" he exclaimed. "They let you out of hospital."

"Hullo, Sirius." The boy looked tired and weak and there were strange new scars across his face. "How are you?"

"Not bad," he lied. "You?"

"Not bad. Still a bit off since having to replenish nearly all of my blood."

"Remy, I'm really, really sorry about what happened."

Remus gave a slight roll of his head. "Alright."

"Can you ever forgive me?"

"I don't know," Remus said sadly. "It was always my greatest fear that I would pass my curse on to another and now…. I've hurt him. The one person I cherish above all others. He's sick. I've made him sick."

Sirius bit his lip to keep from sobbing. "Have you seen him?"

Remus shook his head. "Not yet, but I don't have to. I can smell him. I know his scent and it is with me now."

"I don't understand. What are you saying?"

Remus stood up a bit taller. His eyes were gold and filled with a new fortitude. "The beast knew him, knew him by scent the moment Severus entered the Shrieking Shack. The beast chose its mate, it marked him, and werewolves mate for life."

xXx

A/N: You'll recognize the line JK used to describe Snape, "a plant kept too long in the dark." I really liked that one and thought it appropriate here. I'm planning on going much further into how Remus deals with his condition on a daily basis since we know very little about his inner suffering.


	12. That's What You Get

Warning: Semi non-con, blood play.

Chapter 12: That's What You Get

xXx

Everything had changed. Remus knew it, felt it, felt it right down to the quick of his nails. He felt it deep down in that place in the pit of his stomach that had always felt empty. Now he felt something odd stirring inside him, like a serpent coiling and uncoiling itself, unsure of what to do next. He was anxious but unfocused, sort of like James moments before flying out for a Quidditch match. More than anything he felt like a prisoner, a betrayer, like the monster he always feared he'd become.

It wasn't what he had wanted. Not this way. It was a lifetime ago when he had asked Sirius, his friend, his brother, to plead on his behalf for Severus' favor. And he had hoped, for a time he had known what it was like to really hope. The hope of being cured, having a normal life, a relationship. He should hate Sirius. Sirius Black, the golden boy of Hogwarts, devilishly handsome and charming, Quidditch chaser and heir to the Black family fortune. A spoiled, boastful youth who had everything. How had he, Remus, sent such a person to intercede for him with Severus? He might as well have had wrapped a ribbon around Sirius' cock, supplied him with a vat of lube and _A_ _Hand Book to Hand Jobs and Other Magical Delights by Randy Rockwood_.

He wanted to hate Sirius, but the bugger was now so damn miserable, so void of life, it wasn't worth the effort. Not only had Sirius stolen his, Remus' boyfriend, but now he had stolen Remus' ability to loathe Sirius properly. The tall Gryffindor had allowed Severus to wander into the Shack while he, Remus, had been in full wolf form, and the Beast had done as was in its nature. It had passed on the curse and doomed another to suffer as he did every month. It was a betrayal of Remus' very soul to know that he had destroyed someone else's life. He would rather have died himself. He had lost so much on that night.

Remus watched Severus from the other end of the library. The Slytherin was neck high in Darks Arts books, taking notes at a frantic speed. He glanced back over them as if he wondered who had written them, and then tore them all to shreds, all the while he muttered and cursed under his breath before starting over again. A wide perimeter had formed around him, as if the other students feared he had some sort of contagious disease, they just didn't know what.

Remus longed to go to him. He wanted to tell Severus that he understood the dread the other boy was experiencing, the anxiety as the moon slowly grew in the sky, the constant loneliness and feeling of being unwanted. Something less than human. Something monstrous. Remus had been forced to deal with such emotions for nearly his entire life. It was harsh but he knew how to endure. He could teach Severus.

However, Severus wasn't accepting anyone's help at the moment. The Slytherin wouldn't even speak to him, other than when he needed more tissue samples or wanted to test another potion. When the last one had failed Severus had shouted and hurled the goblet at Remus, as if he, Remus, had somehow been responsible for its failure. He even went so far as to yank a lock of Remus' hair out by the roots, without so much as a warning or an apology, when his temper was up. Severus merely threw it into the potion and watched for results. He might have been alone the entire time.

All the while Remus remained calm and gracious. He owed Severus after all. Even before this dire situation, Severus had been the only one in the world trying to help Lycanthropes. If there was still a possibility, a small glimmer of hope—something that was foreign to Remus—then he would carry on as long as Severus needed him to. The days passed. Remus waited. It was all he could do.

A week ago he'd have given anything to be normal. Sirius had given the Beast a gift, offered Severus up like a blessed sacrifice, and now Remus was tied to Severus. He no longer needed the Marauders Map to locate the Slytherin. He had the boy's scent within him. He was even beginning to interpret the Slytherin's moods by smell alone. And yet, what if Severus really did find a cure? What then? He was sure to lose Severus. The other boy hated his guts. Severus would have no further interest in him and he, Remus, would be alone again. What if Severus went back to Sirius?

He had to get out of there. Remus returned to the common room. James and Peter were seated in a huddle, glowering over their books. Their workload had suffered drastically since Remus had stopped doing their essays for them. Sirius sat alone in a squashy chair, looking positively wretched. He was a pack animal who had been abandoned. Remus took some comfort in that.

"Moony," Sirius began.

Remus sat by the fire and opened a book, determined to ignore the other boy.

"Moony, have you… have you seen him?"

Remus shrugged his shoulders.

"He… he wasn't at dinner again tonight." Sirius went on. "He never comes to meals anymore. I was just wondering if you spoke to him, if he was… was all right."

"He's far from all right," Remus' voice was like ice. "You saw to that. Besides, he's not your problem anymore."

"He was never a problem!" Sirius' snapped. "I'm just worried about him, is all."

"Well don't. He doesn't want your concern, or anything else from you for that matter."

"Maybe he does! Maybe he needs help and is just too afraid to admit—"

"You have no idea what he's going through so don't pretend that you do!"

"Perhaps not, but I never stopped wanting to be your friend even after I found out what you were. I can't just wave a wand and turn off my feelings. And that includes you too, you pillock! If you can't accept that, then you can sod off for all I care!"

Their argument was cut short by the Fat Lady swinging open and Lily bursting in through the portrait entrance.

"Ah, Evans," James said cheerfully and ruffled his hair. "Fancy a study session?"

Lily stormed past him, threw her arm back and slugged Sirius right in his face. The shock of it sent him reeling to the floor.

"What did you do to him?" she demanded as she pointed her wand at Sirius' chest.

"Owwww! What the fook, Lils?" Sirius spat out a mouthful of blood.

"What did you do to Severus?" she shouted. "I know you did something to him! I know it was you. He's been my best friend since we were in nappies. You don't think I wouldn't notice his odd behavior? You knew that he was gay and you took advantage! I always knew you were bent, Black. And now you've brought him low again, haven't you? You and your Marauders! Always having a go at him for fun because you're bored, because you're not as smart as he is. You're all such jokes! Do you have any idea how pathetic you lot are? Why did you have to go and hurt him?"

"I didn't mean to—" Sirius tried to say but physically blanched under her rage.

"Didn't mean to get in trouble? Were you blaming him for your getting kicked off the Quidditch team? Did Potter want a good laugh to eat up time in the afternoon? Severus is ten times the man any of you wankers will ever be!"

"He is! I know he is!"

"Don't try and be clever now! What did you do? Why won't he talk to me anymore? Me of all people? Every time I try and get close he lashes out. He… he called me a…a Mudblood."

"He never!" James said. "I'll kill him!"

"Shut it!" she spat. "Your hand is in this, too! Don't think I don't see your familiar signature on what has happened. What did you wankers do to get my best friend in the world to say such a thing to me? And he doesn't sleep in the dorm anymore. Regulus said he's been going missing these last few nights. Something is wrong and I want the truth!"

Sirius looked ready to weep. "I hurt him," he whispered. "I fell in love with him and I messed it all up."

Shocked, Lily's anger dissipated for a moment, and the next she was kicking Sirius with all her might. "What are you trying to pull, Big Mouth? I'm supposed to believe that you love Severus? The boy you bullied since the first day we all came to Hogwarts? You got the entire school to call him _Snivellous_, for Merlin's sake!"

"It's the truth! He wanted to tell you but I asked him not to. I messed up, all of it."

She kicked him one more time, in a place that Sirius was not soon to forget. "You messed up? Bollocks! Sev wouldn't break down like this over a torn heart. He's made of stronger stuff. Besides, he always comes to me. We're always there for each other. Why would he push me away now?"

"It's my fault, Lily," Remus said.

"You? Remus?" Her face dropped. "No. I don't believe it. You always looked the other way when your mates had a go at Sev, but you never did anything yourself."

"This time I did," he said and he told her everything.

xXx

Lily had said that Severus was no longer sleeping in the Slytherin dorms. Remus did not need her to tell him that it was so. He knew that Severus was not on the Hogwarts grounds. The boy's scent led away from the castle. Remus found he didn't need to follow the trail. He felt his footsteps urged him on, as if he were under a compulsion.

Remus was surprised to find himself just outside of the Shrieking Shack. Why would Severus want to go in there? Full moon was two weeks away. Remus entered the rickety building with caution. He could smell dust and rot and panic. Upstairs he could hear definite sounds of someone in distress.

There was a light in the main chamber and he peered in through the door crack. He could see Severus walking up and down in the dust-covered chamber, speaking to himself while he wrote calculations on the walls. He had long run out of ink but carried on using a sharp awl instead. Severus cursed and stabbed at the wood, ripping at it with his fingernails until the walls were red.

"I can solve this!" he shouted into the murky air. His voice was raw and broken. "I can! The answer is here. I just need more time. Give me more time! Every riddle has an answer!"

He looked quite mad, twisted and haggard from lack of proper food and sleep. He was thinner and paler than Remus could ever recall. How could Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey allow this to happen?

Carefully, Remus opened the door and stepped into the room. Severus spun around and brandished the awl as if it were a sword. His hands were bleeding freely now. He was trembling all over like a leaf, and his eyes—those beautiful, clever eyes that Remus had admired—were wild and terrified, like a deer caught in a predator's sights.

Remus reached out and had to dodge the awl from slicing his throat. He caught Severus' arms and held them with a strength the other boy could not fight. The instrument clattered to the floor. Severus shouted and tried to free himself. Remus began to say something soothing, but then the sharp tang of copper entered his nostrils and another more primal urge took over. Suddenly he was lapping the blood like a great cat. The warm rush was life. He could feel the pulse under his lips quicken. The Beast purred, wanting, craving more. More.

Severus hissed and shuddered. His black eyes glowed gold with a strange new fire. He sniffed at Remus, inhaling the scent of his hair, his skin, the nape of his neck. A low, inhuman growl escaped his throat. Remus could feel the wolf in Severus lusting to break free, that familiar urge to bite, to tear, to feed.

Severus lunged. The wolf had not yet reached full strength and Remus was able to force Severus against the wall. Remus knew he was crushing the other boy but it was necessary. In his state Severus was likely to kill him, or do further harm to himself. Severus was on the precipice, ready to fall into madness unless someone caught him. He loosened Severus' scarf and licked the scar there. He sunk his teeth into the flesh, felt it tear and a warm gush spilled down his chin.

Severus bucked and fell upon Remus with an animalistic desperation.

xXx

Remus thought it had been a dream. He was confused at first when he smelled oil and fresh herbs and parchment paper. He opened his eyes and found Severus Snape fast asleep in his arms, curled up against him like a child. They had both fallen asleep on the wreck of a bed in the shack. It was nearly dawn. Remus could tell by the light creeping through the holes in the roof. He looked back down at Severus. The dark haired boy looked peaceful, he even had a small smile on his face. Remus purred and placed a kiss on his lover's brow.

Severus sighed and nuzzled a bit closer. One hand lightly searched Remus' neck for something he could not locate. He leaned closer to breathe in the scent there. He stopped and jerked backward, his eyes snapped open.

"Hello," Remus said, rather sheepishly. He could feel his face flush bright crimson.

Severus stared at him, then at their state of undress. He pulled the moth-eaten blankets over himself. "What… what happened?"

"We, uh, last night we, well, we sort of had, we were… you know. You… me. Well, you first, then me. It was rather mental, after all. Not that it was bad! At least, I don't think it was bad. That is, I don't have any past experience to compare it to, but I'd say it was pretty good. I mean, you were a real tiger that last… I mean…. Is it warm in here to you? Are you having trouble breathing?"

"For Merlin's sake!" Severus snapped. "Can't you ever do anything but babble nonsense?"

"Sorry. Sorry, but this was, uh, the first time I ever did something like this."

Severus blushed and turned away. "Yeah, me too."

"For true?" Remus said. "I thought, you and Sirius—"

"That's none of your bloody business! And I don't want to talk about _HIM_. Where are my clothes?"

"Wait. Shouldn't we discuss what happened? I know a lot of it is blurry and all—"

"What happened was a mistake! Madness. I don't even remember how I got here."

"It was the Beast," said Remus.

"What?"

"The Beast. That's what I call the wolf within. The dark passenger. It sometimes takes control and you find yourself doing things you normally might not, ah, do. You will learn to deal with it."

"Don't say that!" Severus batted away the hand that reached for him. "I don't want to 'deal' with this! I want to end it. I want my life back the way it was. I don't want this _dark passenger_, as say. I want it gone! Don't you? Why are you so calm about all this?"

Remus shrugged and rubbed his neck. "Been used to it longer, I guess."

Severus regarded him. "You have a bite on your shoulder. Did I do that?"

"Uh, yeah. Last night while we were… intimate. You should know, we are bonded now."

Severus stared at him.

"When werewolves mate they mark one another with a bite on the neck or shoulder. A unique signature to warn other werewolves that this person is off limits."

"That's what you did to me that night? You marked me? Why?"

Remus stared at his hands. "The Beast marked you, not me. But… but I liked you. I've liked you for a very long time now, Severus. I think I even love you. No, really."

Severus threw his head back and laughed. "Why? Why on earth would you care?"

"I just, I just always thought you were smart. A silent, brooding genius type."

"That's likely! For months I was researching everything I could about lycanthropy and I couldn't even recognize one that was sitting two bloody feet away from me! Some genius."

"It's not your fault. I've had to become an excellent pretender to survive. I could show you. Severus, I want to help you. I know how alone you must feel because it's the way I feel myself."

Severus turned away. "Is there a way to undo this bond?"

Remus hoped he could disguise the hurt in his voice. "Not that I know of. When a Wolf mates, it's for life. If something happens to one of the mates the other one is known to pine away, or… or run mad."

"Why have I never read about any of this?"

"I guess Lycanthropes don't like to bang on about our secrets. Besides, who is going to admit to being a werewolf in order to sell a few books? I never meant for any of this to happen. You have to believe me. It was the Beast. When I change it's like I become someone else. I have no control over what I do. I never wanted to hurt you. I wanted you to get to know me, to know that I admired you and I wanted to be someone that you would want as your boyfriend."

Severus stole quick glance at him. "Why did you never say anything?"

Remus bit his lip. "I was too nervous and had asked Sirius to speak to you on my behalf. I encouraged him to become your partner in Potions."

"Siri—I mean, _HE_ used to talk about you a lot, about what a great guy you were. You were the one who sent that gift parcel, weren't you?"

Remus nodded. "Did he take credit for that?"

"Not exactly. _HE_ just said it was from someone 'nice.' You were the secret admirer all along." Severus pulled at a tangled lock of his hair. "I just thought that _HE_ was talking about himself. _HE_ was such a boy, with a child's judgment. I couldn't see anyone else when _HE_ was around. I was a fool."

"You were not. I am angry with Sirius, for everything he's done, but I genuinely believed that he loved you."

"_HE_ lied to me! _HE_ led me to believe—" Severus scrunched up his face and forced the sobs in his voice to subside. "What was this really? A new game you Marauders wanted to play? Another form of torment for ol' _Snivellous_?"

"It wasn't a game."

"It's always a game for Marauders!" Severus cried. "HE made a fool of me and now you've cursed me! I'll never be able to see my mother again. I won't have her see me chained to a wall like an Azkaban prisoner. Dumbledore will favor his Gryffindors as he always does and Slughorn won't lift a flabby tit to aid me. But you're happy, eh? You've had your shag and now have a cellmate to cozy up to each month. Is that why you did it? So you wouldn't be alone anymore?"

"No! Yes. I don't know. I want you to forgive me."

"Did you forgive the werewolf who bit you?" Severus grimaced at Remus' silence. "Do you have any idea how this feels to me? My life has been ruined and now I find that I'm _bonded_ to the one who ruined it. And I have no choice in the matter. I am trapped. It feels like I've been violated."

Remus reached under the blankets and took hold of Severus' hand. He kissed the fingers and held them against his cheek. "Severus, forgive me. I only wanted to matter to you. I didn't mean to hurt you. I won't ever do it again. Merlin, being this close to you, touching you like this, and last night— Merlin! Severus, I love you! I can't help it. I wanted this love and now I will do everything I can to earn your trust."

Severus stared at his companion. "I can feel you now. It's like I have some sort of rope pulling me towards you. When you touch me I—it's not like anything I've ever felt before. It's like I've taken a Befuddulement Draught. I feel... drawn to you, but I'm not—I don't…. Dammit! I can't do this! It's too soon! I'm not over— It's not fair. You don't deserve this. You should have someone who chose to be with you from the very beginning, not as a compulsion. I wasn't kind to you, even when you were trying to help me. I lashed out at you."

Remus smiled weakly. "It didn't matter. I wanted to offer my support."

"I yanked out your hair. You should have hexed me for that."

"You were distraught."

"Still, you should never let yourself be a doormat. Nobody can be that nice."

"Bad habit of mine. You've had a horrible experience. I only want to comfort you. You are everything to me."

Severus blinked. His eyes were clear and warm. "What am I?"

"You are my mate," Remus assured him. "My own brilliant mate. I will help you learn our ways and we will weather the storm together. For all days I will be by your side and I will make you happy." Remus moved a little closer and carefully put his arms around Severus. The dark haired boy tensed but did not resist. He laid them back on the pillows and smoothed down Severus' unruly tresses. He touched them to his lips, then Severus' cheek. "Can we start over? Sort of clear out the system so we're more resistant and can make things better?"

Severus' started. "What did you say?"

"Can we please start over?"

"No you said that we should become more resistant, like through an immunization."

"Is that what I said? I'm not sure what it means. Severus? What are you thinking?"

"Hmm? Sorry. I was just thinking, now that my mind is clear. Anyway, now I can think properly again and maybe I've been looking at this from the wrong way all along."

"You're smiling. Do you have a solution?"

"No way to tell yet. I'll have to get back to the Potions lab."

"Oh, yes, of course. But could we stay here a bit longer?"

Severus drew the blankets around them both. Remus let his head rest against his mate's shoulder and sighed with content. Another feeling rose up inside him that he only felt when he had discovered that he had made true friends at Hogwarts. Joy.

"We are not cursed," he whispered. "You must know that we are blessed. We are not alone. Do you feel cursed when you are with me?"

"No," Severus answered. "No, I don't."

xXx

There you go. A nice long chapter to make up for the time gap. I mentioned that Remus would even out the playing field soon. It broke my heart to make it in this fashion. My father once commented that Remus was such a kind, gentle man—completely unlike his beastly inner demon. I thought about this and how the werewolf would have a sexual appetite as well. It would embody all of Remus' repressed desires and it wouldn't be so shy about taking what it wanted. The Beast is Remus' ID.

I left it all warm and fuzzy but it is only temporary. Obstacles are still ahead and the full moon is rising. FYI, the sex-guide book title is my own invention. I don't think Ms. Rowling would ever stoop to that level. XD

The title is another one of Paramore's songs. The _dark passenger_ was from "Dexter," about his own inner demons.


	13. All We Know Is Falling

Chapter 13: All We Know Is Falling

xXx

They made love again. Slower this time, without the blunt frenzy of the night before, so they both knew that it meant something. It was like being under a spell. Remus couldn't stand not touching Severus. The moment they parted he felt a harrowing pain in his chest, like a fevered animal trying to break out and recapture that which he needed to survive.

Severus seemed to be undergoing something of the same nature and moaned in pain. Remus couldn't bear it and launched himself upon his lover. The pain subsided only to be replaced with desire once more.

Later, much later, the boys were able to dress and make their way back to the castle.

"Do you want to go to the Hospital wing?" Remus asked, holding one of Severus' bandaged hands.

"I used Dittony. It should be fine," said Severus. "Do you think we'll get in trouble, being out of bounds all night?"

"I think that the Headmaster will be understanding."

"You have no idea how understanding he'd be," Severus' upper lip curled in a knowing way. "Merlin's pants! This is another thing I don't want people to talk about."

Remus felt the sting. "I see. I won't say anything if that's what you want."

Severus blinked. "I didn't mean it like that. I just don't like everyone being in my business is all."

Remus was relieved. He tried to put his other hand around Severus' shoulders, but the other boy fell back against a corridor wall, he was white and breathing hard. "Are you all right?"

"A bit weak. Haven't eaten much this week and we missed breakfast." He shot a nervous glance at several fifth year Hufflepuffs that walked past them. "I-I feel like they're all staring at me, like they know and they want to hurt me. I don't feel that I should be around normal people. I'm so angry all the time. Is that a symptom?"

"Not for what you think. It's a normal response for anyone who is going through a bad situation."

"How do you deal with this, Remus? How do you manage to stay so bloody positive?"

Hearing his name spoken by Severus was like a balm on Remus' wounded soul. He took a chance and put a hand on Severus' back. "I have good friends to help me through the worst of it. So will you. You're a Marauder now."

Severus made a face. "That's a good thing, is it?" A flash of scarlet caught his eye. "Oh god. Lily. She'll murder me after the way I behaved!"

Lily ran down the hall. Severus prepared himself for the attack, but instead found himself bound in a rib-cracking hug.

"Sev!" Lily sobbed. "I was so worried! You weren't at supper last night and when you didn't show this morning I started to panic. You look a right mess. Where have you been? Are you all right?"

"I'm so sorry, Lily," Severus said. "For what I said and the awful way I was treating you."

She slammed both palms into his chest. "Remus told me what happened. I'm more upset that you didn't confide in me from the beginning. I thought we were friends. Best friends."

"We are. I wanted to tell you. I wanted you more than anything else in the world. I was so afraid. You didn't grow up around wizards, Lily. You don't know how much our world hates and fears werewolves. I was afraid of dragging you into this mess with me, or worse, that you would abandon me. I think I could handle everything else, but not you being repulsed by me."

"Oh, honestly, Sev." She pulled him into another hug. "For a genius you can be downright thick at times."

"Tell me about it," he smiled and returned the embrace like he would never let go. "I missed you, Lily. You don't know how hard this has been for me. I wanted to tell you about what was happening with… Black." He nervously looked at Remus before he continued. "And then after I got out of the Hospital wing, all I could do, all I could think about was inventing a cure, so much so that I forgot everything else. Last night was especially dark. I had all these dangerous emotions. I might have done something rash if Remus hadn't found me."

"I can't imagine what you must have been going through, and to have kept yourself isolated, too. Don't you ever think that you are alone anymore, Severus Snape. Do you hear me? If you ever do something like this again I'll turn your shoes into mousetraps!"

His mouth turned upward in a sheepish grin. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind. Remus told me that you decked Big Mouth. Well done."

Remus noticed that Sirius was "Big Mouth" once again. It was of some comfort, and yet couldn't help but feel a tug of jealousy of the closeness that had existed between the two wizards. Or that Severus had traded down for him, Remus. To have to compete with an ex-boyfriend like Sirius—tall, classically handsome, rich, fashionable and funny—Remus was more than a bit insecure. Sure, he now had a bond with Severus, but was it what he wanted? Was it no better than if he had used a love potion to manufacture true emotions?

"Remus?"

He looked up. "Sorry. What?"

Severus was staring at him thoughtfully. "Are you feeling well? You looked so sad for a moment."

Remus shook his head. "Nothing. Nothing to worry about."

The Slytherin didn't look like he believed him. "I guess we had better get to class."

"Yeah. That's right."

"Are you available this evening?"

Remus' face brightened. "You want to see me again?"

"Of course I do. Don't be daft. I want to get back to working on that potion. I have some new ideas that I'd like to try."

"Oh. Right." Remus swallowed the lump in his throat. Severus still wanted a cure. He wanted to be rid of Remus. "Yeah, I'll meet up with you. Whatever you need."

"And it won't be so hard this time, Sev," said Lily, "because I'll be helping you, too."

He beamed at her then turned back to Remus. "Well, I'll catch you up later then."

"Yeah. I'll see you tonight." Remus turned and started to walk away when that ache rose up in his chest again. His palms suddenly felt cold and his legs threatened to buckle underneath him. A cry behind him caused him to jump.

"Remus!" Severus was chalk white and half draped on Lily's arm to keep him from falling over on his face.

Remus darted forward and caught Severus in his arms. He felt the other boy's heart hammering against his own. Their lips crashed together. "Severus. Easy, love. I've got you. I've got you."

Severus clung to Remus' neck like he feared he was about to fall from a great height. "Bloody hell! It hurt. When you walked away it hurt so much. What's happening?"

"It must be the bond. It's a new thing. Tender still. It will be all right. I think we were both just surprised by it, is all. Let me walk you back to the Slytherin dungeon. You need to rest and get something to eat. I can tell Professor Babbling that you are ill and I'll bring you the assignment later."

Severus' blinked. "You would do that for me?"

"I'd do anything for you, Severus. My mate." Remus ran a hand through Severus' hair. He made sure that Severus could feel the affection behind his touch. "Come on. Let's get you back where you belong."

Lily braced Severus' other arm. "He's right, Sev. You need to rest first. Worry about work later. And then you can tell me what mischief you two have been getting up to." She laughed and tickled his side.

xXx

Sirius sat at his new place, the edge of the Gryffindor table. A chipped plate. A shoe that had stepped in something unpleasant. His friends sat in their usual place of honor, chatting away in their contentment. They looked like a school pamphlet; laughing faces, slaps on the back, conspiratorial nods towards the girls at the next table. They were part of that golden world everyone instinctively coveted. He, Sirius, had been born to that world, but it had spit him out.

So, this was what it felt like to be an outcast, he thought. Strange. He had spent most of his life sorting out those weak-looking loners, first his brother, then Slytherin boys like Snape; dirty little oddballs that seemed to be asking to be picked on. No body seemed to care, not even the boys themselves. It was probably the most attention they had ever received anyway.

Laughter from the other end of the table. Sirius felt a twinge. Was it about him? Would he have to start watching his back for when they would target him? When the hexes would be thrown at him in the hallways, in the center of large crowds where the humiliation could become a blood sport? Would Severus and James join in? Would they use their wands on him, or merely laugh at how low he had fallen?

He pushed his cold meat pie away, unable to swallow the ashen bits any longer. He wished James or Remus would look in his direction. Even arse-kissing, toadying Peter would have been welcome.

Someone staggered into the Great Hall. It was Severus. He was very late for dinner; the Professors said nothing, they allowed him to take his seat at the Slytherin table. Sirius noticed that the boy still looked pale, thought not quite as sickly as before, and his hair was once again washed and glossy. He seemed different somehow. There was a new glow in his cheeks. He looked taller, if that was possible. The slight slouch was gone, the shoulders proudly held back.

Then Sirius noticed that he wasn't the only one who had observed the differences. Remus was staring at Severus, his yellow-tinged eyes so intense they threatened to burn flesh and cloth and metal. His face was likewise flushed as if from a fever. One of his hands lazily stretched out on the table's surface, unconsciously reaching towards the Slytherin. Severus seemed aware of this gesture for he positioned his hand in a mirror image. They were not touching and yet touching. Severus tilted his head up and his dark eyes flashed gold.

Sirius could not breathe. How had he gotten to the first floor corridor? When had he left the Hall? He could not remember, could not think clearly. He wanted to turn back around and set fire to the Great Hall. He wanted to challenge Remus to a duel, to watch that bastard get eaten by a giant worm. He could use Dark Magic to make them all cringe; to hurt them for discarding him like so much garbage. As a Dark wizard he might even prove to his family that he should have been Sorted into Slytherin after all. They might even be proud of him, finally.

Remus had stolen what was his! Had Severus given so easily to Remus what he had been dangling in front of Sirius for weeks? Had they rutted like animals? Had Severus called Remus his _Dog_? He didn't want to be the chipped plate anymore; he didn't want to eat his meals alone. He wanted to sit under the beech tree with his head in Severus' lap and have the boy whisper biting, loving remarks to him.

"Sirius?"

Severus was standing in front of him. His eyes were black again, empty of all emotion.

How long had he been pacing the corridor? Sirius turned to study the needlework on a tapestry of Ethelred the Ever-Ready. "You and Remus, hun?" he growled. A long pause. Was that shame? Pity? "That didn't take long. Having shagging sessions in the library, are you?"

He expected one of Severus' incensed remarks. Even that would be better than the limbo he felt trapped in.

Severus merely regarded him, his face revealing nothing. "Is that what you think of me? That I could love you with all my heart one moment and then transfer it all to another so effortlessly? Not even a Gryffindor's worst conception of a Slytherin could be that cold."

Sirius looked at him. "Then why are you with him? He attacked you."

"And you lied to me. You might have told me that Remus had been the one to send me those blackberries."

"He said he wanted it to be a secret. I never thought you'd believe that _I_ had done it."

"Is that why you were always rowing with me? Because you were feeling guilty?"

"I was stupid," Sirius said. "It started out where I was trying to set you guys up, as a favor to Remy, but then you and I started hanging out together and you were smart and funny, and I liked being with you."

"You tossed over your own pal, then."

Sirius frowned. "I liked you. I didn't plan on it happening, but it did. I just couldn't stop thinking that you would run off with Remus. You two seemed to be hitting it off with one another. I panicked. I didn't think anyone would get hurt."

Severus clucked his tongue. "You failed to think that exposing me to a werewolf might be a bad thing?"

"Remus always said that I was a thoughtless brute. I didn't think about what it would do to you, or to him. Are-are you happy, Brain?"

"Don't call me that. And I don't think you should be the one to ask me such things."

"But, Remus is a good guy, yeah? You two are happy being a couple?"

Severus drew his arms around himself, trying to make his robes a protective cocoon. "We've hardly had time to become what you'd call a couple. If you had been more forthright from the beginning, things might have been different between us. I just wish it did not have to be like this. Like it has to happen because we are now bonded. It leaves something out."

Love is what's missing, Sirius realized. That excitement of first meeting someone, that warm quickening of the blood, a skipped heartbeat, a sweaty palm. The yearning to be near that person, the thrill to know that they fell the same way. Knowing that there had been the freedom of choice all along.

_Love cannot be held with the fist. It must be caught with an open hand._

Sirius reached for Severus, but the other boy stepped back.

"I can't," Severus said. "Not anymore."

"Are you in love with him?" asked Sirius. Everything in the world danced upon the edge of a pin.

"Remus is a good person. He deserves the chance for this to work. We are bonded. The rest will follow. I'm fortunate that he is someone that I can love."

"Severus—"

"I have to go. I only came this way to get to the Potions lab. Full moon is only days away and I need to find a cure before…. Well, I don't have a lot of time. I'd appreciate it if we could keep things civil between us. The spilled ink cannot be put back into the bottle, as it were."

"Sev—"

Sirius again tried to hold Severus. The other boy appeared to have trouble breathing. That was not quite right. He was inhaling in short, deep bursts; his nostrils were wide as tunnels. Severus was smelling him. The boy emitted a low growl that sounded very much like the hungry rumble of a bare stomach.

"Leave me be," Severus snapped. Then his tone grew softer. "Please. Please, leave me be. It's over. It has to be over." He would not meet Sirius' eyes.

Sirius watched as Severus disappeared down the stairs to the dungeon classrooms. He wished he could find an equally deep hole to crawl into. He felt his world teeter off the edge and fall, and fall.

Things were as they should have been from the start, he told himself. Remus was with Severus, and Remus was a good man. After all, he had liked Severus early on.

Sirius tried to pin down the exact moment he realized that he had liked the Slytherin boy. He recalled how lovely Severus looked in the moonlight, the way his hair had shined and rippled. The sweet taste of apple on those lips.

_Only vain fools think that looks are everything._

But no. Hang on. That first time they had been studying together in the library, before Severus has invented that hair elixir, when they had been joking and Severus, in an unguarded moment, had smiled at him. He had smiled and Sirius had felt a spark, fire from tinder.

He had liked Severus Snape, too!

Sirius began laughing out loud. He couldn't control it. He must have looked like a mad man because several terrified first years fled from him. Sirius ran up the staircase. He was no longer a ship lost at storm. He had found his bearings.

xXx

A/N: A few notes on this chapter.

The chapter title is another Paramore song.

Professor Babbling is the Ancient Runes teacher at Hogwarts.

You might recognize the reference to the burning down the Great Hall, dueling and the giant worm from Albus Dumbledore's notes on "The Fountain of Fair Fortune," in _The Tales of Beetle the Bard_.

Ethelred the Ever-Ready, was a wizard famous for taking offense at nothing and cursing innocent bystanders. Found in the HP Lexicon.


End file.
